It's Already Written

Christmas is just around the corner. And this month of December had been great :) I experienced a huge breakthrough in my struggle this month, got to share about God's love to many, have more rest, experience financial providence, greater fellowship in LG and family and with others, more exercising towards a healthy body etc and also to seek God personally. 

However, just last night I stumbled in my struggle and even dwell in it until I came to God personally today. There was a sense of emptiness, dryness, tiredness and perhaps even sadness. It came about because, my sin is a broken cistern that cannot hold water. As it is said:

Be appalled at this, you heavens,

    and shudder with great horror,”
declares the Lord. 

“My people have committed two sins:

They have forsaken me,
    the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
    broken cisterns that cannot hold water.

-Jeremiah 2:12-13

 However, God is the spring of living water that truly satisfies my soul. Jesus says that whoever drinks of the water he gives will never thirst. So I came bowing down in prayer to lay down the flesh and pride, for a broken and contrite heart pleases God; and it is then that His grace can abound and bring about restoration. 

And indeed, God reminded me of His grace in full! His grace through His son Jesus

It just happened that after praying and going to my daily reading, I realized that the New Testament is just around the corner(Left with the end of Zechariah, and Malachi) just as Christmas happened to be too :) What a joy to know that I'll be reading of the birth of Jesus on Christmas day!

The highlighted verses speaks prophetically of the betrayal of Judas to Jesus and of the grace and supplication poured out on the Day of the Lord, and the remembrance of Jesus crucifixion with mourning just as one for his only child and firstborn son.

Jesus, what a beautiful savior. He came to Earth in Calvary, God’s only begotten Son. The one foretold by the prophets, the Prince of Peace, Wonderful Counselor, the Lord of all. He was born to die, so that we can be reborn into life! He overcame E-v-i-l with L-i-v-e. So that we can have this grace to be reconciled with God and have life to the fullest! Merry CHRISTmas :)

Even though I stumbled, God again reminded me through Christmas that He is watching over me and always loving me. That it is about Jesus who came for me rather than me.

I continued in a time of worship, as being in the presence of God brings such sweetness to the soul. Then I went to the Kitchen to make dinner. My mum just came home and she told me about how a crisis she was facing in her Biz was just resolved, and said the verse that was shared in the Christmas Musical this weekend "With man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible". While it is referring to the receiving of salvation, it also holds true to many of the things we go through.

I watched the sermon "It's Already Written" during dinner, and it is really encouraging! It talks about the distinction between report and news. News is the thing that happened, report is the perception of it. And a quote was shared that "We experience what we perceive". And this is very true. Many times, before we even get a bad news or do something, we have preconceived notions about it.

The sermon talks about the 12 spies that Moses sent to investigate the Promised Land. And 10 of the spies, came back reporting about how the men there were stronger than them. Even when the land was indeed flowing with milk and honey, the 10 purposely spread a bad report to the rest of the Israelites. Only Caleb and Joshua focused on the fruitfulness of the land, and the 170 over times that God said that it is "the land I have given you" even though they have not got it.

God asked them to size up the land, but not themselves. However the 10 sized up the men and the cities there to themselves and say that the men there were stronger. They evaluated the land with perceptions of themselves, and it became a reality for them. 40 years later, the 10 and the others who did not believe passed away, then Caleb, Joshua and the rest went to inherit the Promised Land.

When we face our circumstances, we do not dismiss the reality and facts, but we should not perceive the circumstances through our imperfect lenses, but instead magnify God and perceive our circumstances through Him, through His Word and grace.

It's about a 10 to 2 ratio, of the no. of thoughts that tell us we can't and the no. of thoughts that tell us we can. It is written in Ephesians that God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places in Christ, but our thoughts are the spies that determine whether or not we take the step.

I realized that before I stumbled yesterday, I started dwelling more on the flesh gradually. It can be through simply checking out all the social sites, and phone games before spending my QT with God when I wake up, or watching more and more anime such that I delay watching a sermon. These aren't inherently bad, but it took my focus off of the one who is truly important and off the things of the Spirit. Maybe that's how I eventually stumbled, even though I started my day immediately with God yesterday. As it is said that "We experience what we perceive", the flesh/the Spirit.

Just before entering the Promised Land, Joshua sent spies to investigate the land again. And this time he only sent 2. And perhaps we only need 2 as well. In Psalm 23, when David talks about the Lord being his shepherd, and even about walking through the darkest valley with Him, he said "Surely your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever". Regardless of what you are facing, you only need an awareness of 2 things, that Surely, His Goodness and Mercy will follow me All the days of your life!

Your story is Already Written! Your hope is secured, you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, you are Conquerors and His dear children! The News is not as important as the Issues we make out of it. Let us continue to focus on the Good News, on His goodness and mercy, and take hold of His promises and walk with the Holy Spirit. Then we can experience fruitfulness, the power of the Holy Spirit and life to the fullest, even as we eagerly await for Christ to return :)

Christmas Carolling

Man, finally it's time that I can say.. ORD LOHHH!!!! :) Now I cannot go back to camp even if I want to haha

As I'm going to start work in January, I have more time to rest, to help my mum in her Biz, to serve, to exercise, to meet up and to seek God :) I've been sleeping a crazy lot, there was once when I slept 6-7h the previous day, and the next day, I overslept even though I set 7 alarms on my phone and overslept by 4 hours haha

I ORD-ed on the 12th(Friday), and on Saturday I was invited to join for a Christmas Carol at Geylang on Sunday. As I just ORDed, a spontaneous Carolling session is fine. However on Sunday, I was feeling really tired, and I reached over an hour late when the dinner and practice was almost over. I am unfamiliar with Christmas Carols too, the only one I know is We Wish You A Merry Christmas and Feliz Navidad :P Oh wait are they the same song? And are they Carols? LOL

The session was organized by Tamar Village, a Christian organization that aims to empower women affected by the sex industry in Geylang (Singapore) to pursue opportunities for an alternate lifestyle. We went to many of the legal brothels in the neighbourhood to sing the Carols, bless the ladies there with cookies and pray over the brothels. As we went about, many many many people in the streets gathered to listen and to follow us. It was as if we were celebrities, as the crowd was huge! Though many of us were unfamiliar with the Carols, thank God for brothers and sisters, including Matthew who not just sung but even danced to lead us.

At our last few stops, we simply sung Carols to crowds that gathered, gave them cookies and offer to pray for them. We were about to end the journey after asking if anybody needed prayers, but nobody stepped out. But as we were leaving, a Bangladeshi approached me, and a few other brothers from Hope. He told us that he had lower back pain when he walks and is experiencing it now. It just happened that I was experiencing the same pain during this Carolling session too. As I prayed for him, he said that he felt something on his back, like a pull, but there was still pain. There was also pain on his knee and foot. We continued to pray a few more times and also shared more about Jesus to him. After the prayers, he felt a huge tugging and said the pain was gone! Chris(A brother who's connected to the Bangladesh group in Hope) could speak in Bangladesh and also invited him for the Bangladesh Christmas party :)

After the whole experience, I realized that my tiredness was gone. And though I mumbled through most of the Carols, I am blessed to see the multitudes who gathered to listen, some even asking about Christmas, and others cheering and clapping to the Carols. There were also people whom were invited for our Christmas musical during the whole Carolling session :) It's really great that many can at least come to hear the name of Jesus whom we celebrate, and to know that God really loves these people, and healed this Bangladeshi who stepped forth for healing in faith.

There was also another impromptu Carolling session today. I went with Vincent and other brothers and sisters to visit Khatijah, a Malay Muslim lady. Thank God for Songjun as he organized the session. He and Cedric constantly visited and blessed some of the people who lived in the area. Khatijah used to work as a chef and she prepared lots of good food to host us; there was a lot and we had to da bao. Khatijah enjoyed the time of Carolling, and the storytelling that Songjun did to share about the gospel to her.

As we spent the time with her, she opened up a lot to us about herself, her family and tough circumstances that she goes through. The pain she experienced is great, such that her heart is still wounded now.. But I'm glad that she got to share it out with us, and thank God for Songjun for constantly visiting her. She also suffers from serious ailments. We prayed together for her, however she did not receive supernatural healing. I'm sure that she was blessed by the time together, and she wants to invite us for further gatherings and for New Year too. I pray that she'll receive the emotional, physical and spiritual restoration that she needs from Jesus and know Him personally soon :)

Live By The Spirit (By His Grace, Run This Race, See His Face)

It's been over a week since my last post, and it's just 3 days to ORD!!! :D

I thank God for the opportunities he had given me, to share about His love and invite people to service/Christmas. A week back, before I went on my extended off/leave till ORD, I decided to step out to share and invite my IC, Encik and OC for Christmas. I'm so glad that I did, and I don't know if they read my conversion story but I pray that the Holy Spirit will prompt them to come to God this Christmas. God is also moving in the NS ministry and my LG. New brothers have been joining the ministry in the past few weeks and those who are already in my LG are coming to fellowship and serve together even more. Zheng Zhang is from OCS and has little weekend time, but he wants to join us more and seek God more. Another brother called Yi Jun started to join us too, though he was far from God for a period of time, he came back and is connected to our LG. There are other brothers like Wei Kang and Tjun Sern, who are keen to join us for fellowship and service in this December too :) I also pray for the other friends and section mates that God will prompt them to initiate or respond to come this December too

Before God started opening these doors of opportunities, I was reflecting on God's grace. Remembering how he found me and transformed me, how he guided me and blessed me, how he moved in the lives of others around me, and most of all for dying for my sins and rising again so that I can have salvation and this relationship with Him. It was also a time when I felt undeserving of His grace, for I fell short and still struggled in the flesh. But God showed me a double rainbow that shone over my house, just when I was a short distance away from home. He reminded me that he is always watching over me, and he did not come to destroy but to give life to me, and that his grace is sufficient and always flowing even when I'm weak or failing.

I believe that as we remember God's grace, knowing that it's not about us but about Him, His overflowing grace will cause our hearts to also overflow with His grace. He'll also open our eyes to see His grace in our circumstances, and even bring people to us, such that we can share God's love with them and invite them.

Also, around the same period that I reflected more on His grace, I experienced greater freedom from the flesh to live by the Spirit. His grace reminded me of where my true home is, of where my soul's yearning and true satisfaction lies, reminding me also that it's about Him and I want to love and glorify Him, it also reminded me that His grace is sufficient and at work for us when we look to Him. I no longer struggle as much in an area, even though the temptation ought to be greater in this season. I chose to live by His grace, to run this race, so that I can see His face.

I also go to Serangoon Gardens Country Club to swim from time to time, and I have free access to swim until I turned 21 this year. However, I still went there to swim until a staff questioned about my membership and made me pay a visitor fee for the swim. My dad corrected me on such a behavior when he found out that I didn't pay visitor fee even when my family membership as a child is expired. Though many people come to the club to swim without paying the fee, and though the pool is more luxurious than public ones, I've decided not to swim there anymore unless I'm willing to pay $5 per session.

Though I use the public pool now, I experienced this joy and liberty that comes from holding to integrity. There is joy and peace in knowing that this "small" (or big) decision is one that pleases God. And such small steps can draw me to walk more in step with the Spirit, to want to spend more time with God, to want to love and talk to people about God, and to live in the light.

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.  (Galatians 5:16-25)

Jesus did not give us this grace, so that we can sin even more. No he came to die for our sins, so that we can be reconciled with Him, to enter his Kingdom to be his servants, yet heirs and sons. Those who live in continual patterns in the acts of the flesh will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

God gave us the Holy Spirit as a deposit, a seal for our day of redemption. The Holy Spirit is our helper, the person who guides and empowers us. However, in our lives do we feel as though the Holy Spirit is speaking to us, that He empowers us and leads us? If we do not, we are not walking by the Spirit, but in the flesh. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, do we host and let the Holy Spirit reside in us?

I watched the sermon Grace To Become Who We Want To Be by Francis Chan today. He talks about how expecting the Holy Spirit to take away our sinful desires is like buying a treadmill last Christmas, and wondering why we have not lost a single pound. No, we have to go on the treadmill (walk by the Spirit), and not just leave it there. In Galatians 5:16-25 above, it mentioned that the Spirit is contrary to the flesh and are in conflict. Francis illustrated this by running on the treadmill while munching on Cheetos. No way right?? You either sit on your couch and munch on Cheetos, or you run on the treadmill.

Ok, so even then we may wonder why certain struggles stick to us and won't go. We wonder why we still fall to drunkenness, or why our marriage is filled with conflicts. They are there when we put the focus on "Me", when we ask God to bless us for our own comfort. However, when we ask God to bless and help us, because we want to glorify Him, because we want to spread the gospel to those around us, because we want to give and serve, God can move powerfully through this desire. When we live by a mission, to fulfill the great commission, it prevents us from omission and ending up pursuing the desires of the flesh. So even as we remember God's grace, let us walk by the Spirit, setting our mind on His mission, even in our daily affairs. Then we will experience greater freedom from sin, even more grace and more of the Kingdom of Heaven :)