Reflections

It has been a long time since I've last blogged. After seeing the thoughts a friend of mine penned down, I felt this strong urge to just blog again.

Life has came to a place where it feels like a motion. While there are events, and things that God has spoken to me, each day still passes by as I go about with my meetings and routine.

2 things in the Bible came to my mind:

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) 

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33)

These verses give perspective about how we can live our lives in light of God's goodness.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 talks about how we may go through different circumstances in life, but it is God's will that we should rejoice always, stay in prayer and give thanks. I believe that this would also lead us towards a more Spirit- & Joy-filled life, and remind me of God's fingerprints over my life. In order to give thanks at all times, I believe it is good to remember what God has done for me, and hence blogging has its value in reflection.

Matthew 6:33 talks about how should as a response seek first the things of God, which is His kingdom and righteousness because we know He is our Heavenly Father. However, what does it mean to seek first His kingdom and righteousness in our lives? As I passed through each day without much time of reflection, there can be things that God has spoken to me to work on, but without taking the time to pen down what God has showed me, I may forget what is it that He would like me to seek first and instead simply pass each day by. 

The inertia and fear to blog is high. I feel like I have no idea what to reflect and write about, because its been so long since I practiced reflection, and it has been over 1.5 years since I last blogged. Yet, I will do so, and I hope that more than anything, this little reflection post may point me towards God and His will in my life. 

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Most recently, what I've became most convicted about, is that beyond anything else, knowing Christ (As A Relationship) is the most important goal for myself and for many other Christians. We may know about the Trinity, and we may know that Christ died for our sins. But how many of us actually live each day with a keen awareness of God's presence with us? How many of us live with a heart that listens and follows the guidance of the Holy Spirit? I believe this is meant to be a reality for all believers. For Jesus said, "Unless I go to the Father, the Holy Spirit will not come to guide you in all truth" and He also said "My sheep hear my voice, and they know me". 

I am not experiencing or taking hold of this perspective as a living reality for myself as of yet. I spend a lot of times on games, exercising, meetings... But I've not fully grasp what it meant that I can hear God speaking to me each day and spend intimate moments with Him.

I went for the workshop "Hearing God's Voice" by Kenny Rason Tan and was really blessed by it. Not because of much theological lessons, but because of simple truths that Kenny shared of God's desire to speak to us, and how Kenny himself oozed with this Spirit of being a Son before his Heavenly Father, and have this continual composure of resting in the Holy Spirit. He shared many testimonies of how God spoke and spoke again to his life, like about BGR, about family, about ministry and work... And how God also spoke through Kenny in order to minister to many others too. Kenny also prophesied for me in the workshop and I was blessed by it. One of the prophecies was that He saw me going through a period of great confusion, but I was hanging on to God, and now God wants to clear that cloud of confusion with a blessing of clarity. I was blessed by that because just in that month, I was really confused and disappointed about many things in my life, including health, relationships, studies, work and spiritual life. Just when Kenny prophesied this, it was when I felt I was starting to receive more peace and clarity in my life, including knowing where God intended to place me for my internship in summer!

I am blessed by this workshop, and I want to embrace more about what it means to live life to the fullest in Christ, and that fullest in Christ entails an intimate relationship with God each day, and being led by His Spirit. Part of it perhaps, come from learning to still my heart more, and can come in the form of doing reflections or journal-ling what I feel God is speaking to me. 

I am going to intern at Nielsen as a Marketing Analytics Intern and it starts in July! It will be all the way until December which is a really long time. 

"Lord, I may be easily caught up by many things even in this holidays, by games and what not, but I pray that that you may help me to understand and live out what it means to journey with you each day. Let work not just be work, and rest just be rest. But teach me your will, teach me to hear your voice intimately, and show me your purposes in the next half a year ahead. You have already been unveiling more things, such as by placing me in a new Uni Outreach group, or by giving me the opportunity to fellowship with Yue Ann and visit for the Homeless Hearts outreach. I pray that I may remember, and act upon these things. Though I am not blogging a lot now, I still appreciate this time that I'm just typing down my thoughts, to myself and to You. May Your Spirit already be stirring and speaking to me as I do so. I feel a sense of peace from You assuring that You are with me and that You are glad that I take time to reflect and seek after You. Continue to guide me Lord, and teach me what it means to reflect, to still my heart, and lead me to know you more, Jesus! Amen"

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Before ending off this blog, I feel like talking about relationships. I'm at a place that I'm still discovering about relationships with friends about me. I value fellowship a lot and view fellowship as "spending time together and pointing each other towards Christ". Hence, fellowship can be just a meal together, but we share Godly perspectives to each other, share our struggles, or pray for one another. There is the element of pointing each other towards God in it. 

I value fellowship a lot, but I feel like I do not see it happening much in the relationships around me; such as in Lifegroup. While this could be due to people not finding fellowship important, I guess it could also have to do with other aspects of relationships as well. I guess, even if everyone are believers, when we gather together, the element of trust and vulnerability matters much, and without it, it is difficult for fellowship to take place. As we grow to understand that we are sinners and that our worth is found in Christ, I believe that element of trusting and sharing vulnerably will become easier. 

The other aspect in relationship is that of just enjoying and being mindless around each other. It is something that I really do not appreciate much, especially in a Church community. But I'm coming to realize that being able to be mindless together does matters. It means that I can be myself, not in the sense of trusting others to share my deep secrets or struggles, but the sense that I do not have to filter and I can enjoy company with friends that I can laugh naturally, whine naturally, and cry naturally with. (I'm probably saying really elementary stuff about relationships here to y'all) But I'm realizing that this aspect of relationship is indeed important, and that without this, it is indeed true that close relationships and fellowship can be harder to be formed as well. This mindlessness can deter fellowship, but out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks, and if both parties desire to know Christ and live for Him, fellowship will occur in the midst of all the chilling. 

All in all, I just come to an understanding that fellowship cannot be the only thing that matters in relationships. For a relationship to thrive, God has to be in it, but building trust and being able to chill mindlessly together does matters too. I hope to develop all 3 aspects, especially that of chilling together with others even more as I continue to relate with those around me.