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Thursday, May 29, 2014

In Desperate Situations


One of the devotions from Revealing Jesus that I read tonight is Desperate Situations. The choiced verse was "Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. “Quick, get up!” he said, and the chains fell off Peter’s wrists.".

It talks about God's way, that in the darkest hours, His tread draws near across the billows. As the day of execution is breaking, the angel comes to Peter's cell. When the scaffold for Mordecai is complete, the royal sleeplessness leads to a reaction in favor of the favored race...

Difficulty is the very atmosphere of miracle - it is miracle in its first stage. If it is to be a great miracle, the condition is not difficulty but impossibility. The clinging hand of His child makes a desperate situation a delight to Him.


This devotion was a pleasant surprise for me, as I was quite desperate about my lost base entry pass and uniform set. I went down to Stadium on Monday and did not find it. On Tuesday I went down to Axis and it was closed. Also managed to contact a Church staff(Desmond) who said it might have been found. Then this morning, Desmond told me it couldn't be found. But later in the noon, it was found. It was quite a desperate situation. If the base pass was really lost, I need to pay a fine, file police and base reports, make a new pass, come earlier each day, and may even kena extra for punishment. But thank you God for making a way in this. 

I just watched God's Not Dead, and in the movie, there was a pastoral character who wanted to take a break and go on a short trip with his friend. But he somehow couldn't start 3 different cars on different occasions. He was disappointed, but because he did not yet go, God used him to ministered to other characters in the movie. And on the 4th car, his friend told him to put faith in God, in deeds. His friend told him to put all the luggage in the car and put on the seat belts before starting the car. After doing so, they managed to start the car. God moved through their faith on the 4th time and also used him to minister to others through the situation.

This isn't the same as sufferings & hardships for Jesus since it was my own blurness. But I can still testify to His goodness in this and that He really do move in Miracles, especially in desperate situations.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Love Acts

I take up compassion and surrender my excuses.
I stand against injustice
and commit to live out simple acts of God's love.
I refuse to do nothing. This is my resolve.
I am the Love Revolution.
This is the creed for The Love Revolution book by Joyce Meyer. I've read a few chapters of the book and it has spoke a lot to me.

God is love. And he acts in his love. He created us. He blessed Abraham. He delivered the Israelite. He sent prophets to his people. He sent Jesus to die on the Cross for us. He perform miracles, guides us and forgives us in our lives. We are his vessels of love, born again in Chirst. 

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
-1 John 4: 7-12

I decided to share and name this post as "Love Acts" because Acts Conference is just over. And God is acting in our lives. Our part is to allow him to act as we receive and pour out his love to others. Love is also amazing because it gives us the power to overcome sin. As it is said:

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
-1 Peter 4:8

Sin is centrally rooted around selfishness. And from it, comes the love of the flesh, pride, lust, deceit, theft, murder and more. Whereas, love is not self-seeking. It desires for the good of others, as in some of its qualities (Always protects, always hope, always trust).

Acts Conference is over, but it is just the beginning. Let us yield ourselves to the Holy Spirit, to allow Christ love to move us to act in love. We pray for healing of others in love, we lend a listening ear in love, we give finances to the needy in love, we talk to the outcasts in love, we share the gospel in love, we honor our parents in love. Love, love, love. When we act in love, God can move powerfully for our will is in line with his. When we love others, we love Jesus. So let us resolve not to do nothing, or to be self-occupied (Even with good things like studies), but let us love one another even as we see the day approaching.

About 1 billon people in the world go hungry, about 1.2 million children are sex trafficked every year, about 250,000 children are forced to carry arms... There are many more people who are suffering and in need around the world. Even in Singapore, many faces pain from divorces, loneliness, stress, people's judgements and expectations, debts and more. God loves each one of these people as much as he loves us. Let us start, from the area of influences in our lives, to love and bless those especially in need. And let us do more if we can, such as to go into the mission field.

Today I prayed for the section mate of mine who came for the healing rally and left halfway. He had cough and flu, and after praying for him. He wasn't healed yet. I do not want to be discouraged as God's ways are higher, and the same power of Christ lives in us. Furthermore, regardless of whether he was healed, I extended a piece of Christ' love to him through this act. There are many many more testimonies of people from our Church who prayed for others to be healed after Conference, and people who share the gospel and reach out to others, even foreigners like Bangladesh workers. This is amazing, let's continue to act. Let's be like the Acts Church, who did not stay in the comfort of internal fellowship, but reach out and reach out and reach out to the World.

This is a story I heard years ago about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. In the end, Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

When I ask what you are going to do, do you perhaps feel fear because you wonder what "doing something" will require? I understand that kind of panicky feeling. After all, if I really decide to forget myself and start aggressively trying to help, what will happen to me? Who will take care of me if I don't take care of myself? God said He would, so I think we should find out if He really meant what He said. Why not retire from "self care," and see if God can do a better job than you have done. If we take care of His business, which is helping hurting people, I believe He will take care of ours.

-Joyce Meyer

For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
-Matthew 6:33

Blessed to be a blessing. As we freely received, we freely give.

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As for an update to my phone and uniform set loss.

I got a new iNO2 and am contactable again. I thank God for making me go to Parkway Parade to settle my Sim card with Starhub. If not, I would probably have gone with my rash decision to buy a more expensive $500 LG Optimus F5 at Orchard. I should not be getting such a phone when I do not have much money, and I shouldn't get a better phone just to be able to play Clash of Clans without overheating or to enjoy other features. Let me be contented with iNO2, so that the remainder can be stewarded and also given for God's kingdom. And since iNO2 overheats easily when I play CoC, that means I have more time and energy to love people and love God.

For my uniform, I ran all over the place to look for it. I went to Singapore Indoor Stadium on Monday but the staff have not found it. Today, I applied for off right after I came to camp, so that I can file a police report and also travel down to Axis to see if my uniform is found. I decided to go to Axis first as I hope not to file a report for losing such an important item(My base entry pass). I may even be punished for the loss. When I went there, I was disappointed to see that Hope Centre, the Axis, the connect rooms and the facilities management office were closed. I tried calling the Church hotlines yesterday and today, but it was to no avail. However as I contemplate over my course of action over lunch, I was prompted to search for Desmond Lee on Facebook. Desmond is a faithful servant in our Church. I saw him around a lot when I was an usher. He often share encouraging posts, and also helped me from time to time. I was surprised to see that his number was on his Facebook. I called and managed to reach him. He told me that a Church staff saw my bag during the Conference, and that he will confirm if it is found tomorrow. Praise God. Even when I went to the police station, the officer said I need not file the report and it is okay to file the report late if my item is still not found by tomorrow. This is because I had a valid reason that my item is believed to be found.

Thank God for bringing me through this. It wasn't exactly nice, but I looked to you through this and a period without my phone, without anime, without manga and without CoC can help me to look to God and do more things that matters.

I also stumbled in an area of struggle today. It is an area that I've been experiencing a breakthrough in but I stumbled today. I was feeling rather sad and tempted to condemn myself as I really really really wanted to let God act through my life as a clean and instrumental vessel, especially over the past few weeks. I immediately chose to spend quality time with God. During the time, I came across this article which lifted my Spirit up.

David demonstrated his faith seemingly on a daily basis which pleased the Lord. Throughout his life his faith would be tested on a grand scale and in the final analysis he passed most of the tests. David also loved God’s law and he sought to follow it as best he could. He spent many days meditating on it and trying to apply it to his own life. He knew that God’s law had the power to change lives if it was followed to the letter. Another important character trait that David exhibited was that he had the attitude of gratitude and was very thankful for his life. During his life he had all sorts of trouble, but David thanked God every day no matter the circumstances. And, finally, David was truly repentant. Let us not forget that he was a man just like us who sinned on a regular basis. But, despite his sin, he always loved God and sought to repent of those sins. He is a role model for all of us sinners who need to repent earnestly. David was indeed a man after God’s own heart.
-http://www.gotquestions.org/man-after-God-heart.html

But at the end of the day, regardless of all these circumstances. Let us love, as God is love :)



Monday, May 26, 2014

Philippians 3:8


"What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ." -Philippians 3:8

So you might be wondering why I chose to share this verse after ACTS Conference. Well you're in for a ride. During this Conference, I've experienced God's grace, God's love moving tangibly in our Church. It was especially amazing to see how many people came to know God, and even more people being healed, 100s or 200s or more. I also got to rest in the Spirit as I desired to. And as I prepared my heart as a vessel for God, God really spoke to us about being vessels for his love and power.

I've been fasting from Manga and Clash of Clans. And when I commit to submit my life to God on the 1st night, I plan to fast from Anime for 1 week too. Almost all my leisure revolves around these 3 things. And well, today I lost my phone too. So its like, no manga, no CoC, no anime & no phone


Today, I had to be involved in an operation in my army camp. After it ended, it was close to 2. So I rushed down to Conference with a section mate I've invited. We took a cab and I lost my phone on that cab. As it was the first time my friend is coming to a Church and hearing the gospel, I shared to him more. However, he could only stay for a while. He had to left 2 minutes into Altar Call before people started to respond and already stayed as long as he could. I pray that despite the short visit, and the unfamiliar atmosphere, that Holy Spirit you would already be doing a work in his heart, to desire to find life, love and fellowship in you Father.

After the healing rally, I went to the prayer room to pray and be prayed for. I wanted to seek God for assurance of his guidance and providence. And I wanted to experience his love through healing too. Though I was prayed for during the rally, and previous occasions, and on my own, I've not experience healing in the pressing medical conditions I have. These includes hearing loss, back pain, loss of hearing balance and a cyst in my brain.

At the prayer room, a prayer minister prayed for me. I did not experience a healing in those conditions I mentioned after the prayer. However, he shared with me a testimony of someone who had similar ailments and was even in a terminal condition, but God pulled him through at the end after his 3rd operation. Hearing this really encouraged me, for knowing how unfailing God's love is and also that his ways and timings are higher.


As I continue through the rest of the Conference, I had such peace and joy, and continually flow with the HS and worship. I was a little amazed at my "Ok-ness" with regards to how I seem barely bothered about my phone. I hold on to Philippians 3:8, that I can consider these a loss compared to Christ and walking life to the fullest with him. However, when I was about to reach home. I realized that I even left the bag with my army clothes & boots in the stadium. Furthermore, items like my base security pass, appointment lists and locker key are in my attire too.

At that point, I started to really really really feel not ok. I begin to struggle with thoughts of not fasting from anime on my way home, stressing over how to go about my day tomorrow with regards to these mishaps. I just so happened to have a medical appointment tomorrow for my Post-surgery follow up. And the truth is, there is a nauseating smell in my nose still and I might have infection or URTI. So I'm taking an MC tomorrow.

With regards to my phone, I really needed to get another phone. But I don't want to burden my mum who is extremely busy and is needing finances for her business. I remembered about the 1 month pay I was committing to give to God, that though I placed the money in the envelope, I forgot to hand it in Church. When I told my mum about the money, she said God blessed me to have hold onto it till now, telling me that I'm so reckless to give like that. That God doesn't need my money, he sees my heart and I should also really take care of myself to steward for him too. I really cried then, as I really wanted to give to God in faith to glorify him and say he is enough. But now, I'm using the money for my own need to get a new phone. My mum also called M1 to check if she can renew any phone contracts. It just so happened that one of the contracts can be renewed 2 months before 24th of July. And today is 25th of May. So God really blessed me with this miracle, and I will probably get an even better phone than the iNO phone which easily overheats and which literally I no phone now.

So, even in this loss from my blunders, even when I felt so not ok before, I still feel so much joy and feel so blessed, really just for knowing Christ and for his unfailing love for me. Even for these ailments I have, God you will sort them out in your own time, in your higher ways. Thank you Papa

Friday, May 23, 2014

The ACT Begins

Hi guys! Tomorrow is ACTS Conference!! :D Are y'all excited? It's been 5 days since I last posted. This was certainly a busy week, and I would probably post on weekends in the future too.

I got about 5-6h of sleep each day this week, and I know that many of you sleep insufficiently too. But for me, it's been a while since I gone through a full work week. I also went out almost every night after work and usually come home at midnight. Work was more hectic than the usual and I also have to go back to camp half-day this Sunday. It'll be the first time I disrupt and go for part of a Church Conference/Camp. I did miss a whole camp before when I was BMT though.

Met my sheep and shared mainly about Instrumental Worship as I'm really convicted of how God will move powerfully through us during Conference and in this season. Therefore, the only thing left for us to do is to be clean and willing vessels/instruments. Also got to meet up with my Shep after a while, and had a good time of sharing; more to come? Haha

Was also helping out with my mum's work, but only a little due to time. I can feel God growing my patience and my love for people in need as I guide Elisha, my new autistic section mate. I'm also reading The Love Revolution by Joyce Meyer which really challenges us to be vessels of God's love and really act! So far I'm glad to share that my section mate will probably come with me to the healing rally after work on Sunday. My aunt and grandma are probably coming too.

Yesterday, I had a supper meet up with my ex-LG from SAJC. We also had a birthday celebration for Mandy. Initially, we planned to celebrate for her at the supper location, but when we realized she was sitting with her LGL in a food shop. We decided to sneak up and celebrate for her, but she just started to walk out when we were preparing the cake. We also slipped 2 tickets to SIFA-Open in her bag without her knowing. When she asked about it, we acted blur. She's still confused about it, even now LOL. (Or maybe not after reading this)



After which, I showed everyone the advertisement Adria was on and we even took a selfie with her on the screen haha!


As we shared about life, I'm blessed to see how God moved in each one's life since A levels. Zuoen is studying to be a teacher and is also leading the SALG. Mandy is taking many to serve and steward her God-given giftings and often sees God's hand through it all. Yibin is leading in Ablaze North and is currently a Unit Leader there. Me, Darren, Pei Da & Shaun are in the 4 different major sectors on NS; Airforce, Navy, MP & Army respectively. Darren just got accepted to ADM in NTU. Pei Da, with Chee Kong, desire to be God's vessels to pour his love to people as they work in DB. Shaun is a Tekong Sergeant, training many recruits, even some from our Church. As for me, I shared much about myself on this blog haha.

An amazing thing happened during our meet up. There were me, Pei Da, Zuoen, Mandy, Darren & Yibin there. While we were sharing, I decided to check my phone. Without warning, I saw that my phone was on the line with Shaun, who was also in SALG. I thought Shaun called me, so I answered "Hello, did you call me?". He said no. And he only just picked up my call and is having live firing. I put my phone on speakers and our ex-LG talked to him together for a while. This could only be from God. Yes, I'm blur and careless! But I haven't called him for a while, so even if my phone was unlocked, its no simple feat for my phone to just accidentally dial his number, and even for me to answer on time when I was just trying to check my phone.

Hi Papa, though this was a tiring week. Even one where I faced some 'hurt'. It was a fruitful and blessed one. And Papa, for the past few weeks, I've been setting aside myself more and more, to be a clean and willing instrument for you. I increasingly know the joy of glorifying you and what it truly means to delight in you. It is a joy to delight even in hardships and sufferings, even if there aren't many 'blessings', for there I find deeper fellowship and true treasure in you, and there I am truly living my life to the fullest. I know that you are going to move powerfully this Conference and I can't wait for the deep fellowships and encounters with you. Now one thing I'll ensure, to have a good night rest with this body you've given me, and just wait on you to play the melody. The ACT Begins :) Amen

Monday, May 19, 2014

Love Always Hope, Love Is Not Self-seeking, Love Never Fails




I saw this video of a wedded couple that my friends shared on Facebook. People were stunned when she chose to marry him. They said it could never work. 3 years later, Things couldn’t be better.

It's beautiful, and Christ loves us even more, we are his bride, though filled with flaws in the present, will be presented to him blameless without blemish as he continues to sanctify us till his return :')

And I realized that the video was originally provided by Desiring God Ministry by John Piper. And I just finished reading the book, and even shared about it in my previous post! Really blessed to have read this book, to see how our lives revolves around God, and that when we find satisfaction in God, we are also glorifying God.

Update: I just asked my mum if she can send me to work tomorrow. She asked me if there is a good reason for her to want to send me to work. I told her that I just read the book Desiring God and it says that the chief end of men is to enjoy God and glorify him forever. So when I enjoy my mum's love, I'm glorifying her too. LOL! Hey, there's truth in that k. But that's only so if I don't fixate on the gifts, but the giver :)


Sunday, May 18, 2014

God Is Breathtaking


God has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Eternity is in the heart of man, filling him with longing. But we know not what we long for until we see the breathtaking God. This is the cause of universal restlessness.
Thou madest us for Thyself,
and our heart is restless,
until it rest in Thee.
-Saint Augustine


When God first made man,
Having a glass of blessings standing by,
Let us (said he) pour on him all we can:
Let the world's riches, which dispered lie,
Contract into a span.

So strength first made a way;
Then beauty flowed, then wisdom, honour, pleasure:
When almost all was out, God made a stay,
Perceiving that alone of all his treasure,
Rest in the bottom lay.

For if I should (said he)
Bestow this jewel also on my creature,
He would adore my gifts instead of me,
And rest in Nature, not the God of Nature:
So both should losers be.

Yet let him keep the rest,
But keep them with repining restlessness;
Let him be rich and weary, that at least,
If goodness lead him not, yet weariness May toss him to my breast.
-George Herbert, "The Pulley"

The world has an inconsolable longing. It tries to satisfy the longing with scenic vacations, accomplishments of creativity, stunning cinematic productions, sexual exploits, sports extravaganzas, hallucinogenic drugs, ascetic rigors, managerial excellence, etc. But the longing remains. What does this mean?


If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.
It was when I was happiest that I longed most... The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing... to find the place where all the beauty came from.

-C. S. Lewis

The tragedy of the world is that the echo is mistaken for the Original Shout. When our back is to the breathtaking beauty of God, we cast a shadow on the earth and fall in love with it. But it does not satisfy.

The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them: it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things - the beauty, the memory of our own past - are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited.
-C. S. Lewis

This is an extract from Desiring God by John Piper who was sharing about one of the seven reasons why he chose to wrote this book.

Instrumental Worship




Instrumental Worship

This isn’t a sharing on how we can worship God through instruments. But it is a reminder of how we are created to worship God. We are the instruments, and God is the Orchestra Conductor and Player.

In light of the upcoming Acts Conference, I sense that this is really a season that God wants to act in each of our lives to bring about great influence and to even do the Supernatural. To allow God to move powerfully, it is crucial for us to prepare our hearts and yield to the HS. We need to have this heart of instrumental worship, so that we can be vessels for God to pour forth his love and power.

It is true that we are all wonderfully made by God and are different. Hence we have different purposes and gifting. But regardless of our differences, we do have a common calling and can have one heart with the Church and with Christ.

1. Clean Instruments

 -For the instrument to function properly and produce beautiful sounds, it has to be clean, without defects. 
-2 Timothy 2:19-21 (In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.)
-The Character of God is reflected in the vessels he chooses to use (Illustration: When you go to a restaurant, you expect to have your food served in clean vessels. If you are served tea in a glass with lipstick on the rim, you will probably not return to that restaurant. It reflects the character of the restaurant)
-Romans 6:13-15 (Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.)
-1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.)
-Romans 12:1-2 (Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

-Acts 9:15-16(But the Lord said to Ananias, Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.) God can even use Saul who persecuted him, to plant the most Churches in the world.
-Therefore, as we desire for God to act in our lives. Let us first and foremost allow ourselves to be cleansed and ready our hearts, so that we can receive whatever he wants to pour into our lives and not reject/distort it.
-But know that God is such a good God, that he will never stop loving you and will never stop pouring into your life even when we stumble and are filled with flaws.
-However, if you want to live life to the fullest and be the kind of person he created you to be, cleanse your heart and areas in your life which you shut away from God or are strongly attached to.
-Application: What areas in your life do you know are displeasing to God, but have not submitted it to God? Are there things in your life that have become like idols and u can’t let them go for God’s greater purposes and gifts? (Pray about it? Fast from it? Account about it? Spend less time on it to instead seek God?)
2. Being Instrumental

 -The next level in the heart of instrumental worship is to be an instrument itself. We do not just want to pursue righteousness, but love, which was how we attained righteousness through Jesus.
-As instruments, let us recognize that no matter how expensive we are, we can’t produce the melody unless God plays through it. John 15:5 (“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing…)
-Are we willing to be instrumental for God’s purposes, especially the great commission to reach out to all the lost in the world? Mission is finish-able, but not evangelism, and the end times are drawing near.
-Matthew 24:4-14 (Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come…)
-The good news as we share the good news is that, Christ does have other sheep outside and he must bring his other sheep. And the sheep he calls will surely come. John 10:16 (And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd.)
-And Jesus also says that we will receive a hundredfold in this time and in eternity. (Mark 10:28-30)
 -1 Corinthians 15:19 (If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.) Are we living our lives in such a way that we pursue Christ and his Kingdom is our treasure? Or are we often looking towards blessings and providence on Earth, such that we are living similarly to those who do not know Christ?
-Earlier on, I mentioned that the character of God is reflected in his vessels. Colossians 1:24 (Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church.) Paul is saying that as we share in persecutions and sufferings with Christ, we help people to see more of Christ’ love and the infinite value of Christ’s afflictions.
-Missions, sufferings, persecutions, steps out of our comfort zone, how much we yield ourselves to God affect how much he can fulfill his purposes through us or others. And sufferings are sacrifices, but the blessings outweigh the losses, from the family in Christ, to God’s providence, to the more intimate fellowship with Jesus, to the witnessing of his power and glory, to the souls being saved, to the eternal inheritance we’ll receive, and the eternal fellowship we’ll have.

“Thank You, Natasha, Wherever You Are”

        Here’s an abstract from Sergei Kourdakov’s autobiography, The Persecutor. Kourdakov was commissioned by the Russian secret police to raid prayer gatherings and persecute believers with extraordinary brutality. But the afflictions of one believer changed his life:

        I saw Victor Marveyev reach and grab for a young girl [Natasha Zhdanova] who was trying to escape to another room. She was a beautiful young girl. What a waste to be a Believer. Victor caught her picked her above his head, and held her high in the air for a second. She was pleading “Don’t, please don’t. Dear God, help us!” Victor threw her so hard she hit the wall at the same height she was thrown, then dropped to the floor, semiconscious, moaning. Victor turned and laughed and exclaimed, “I’ll bet the idea of God went flying out of her head”.
        On a later raid, Sergei was shocked to see Natasha again.
        I quickly surveyed the room and saw a sight I couldn’t believe! There she was, the same girl! It couldn’t be. But it was. Only three nights before, she had been at the other meeting and had been viciously thrown across the room. It was the first time I really got a good look at her. She was more beautiful than I had first remembered – a very beautiful girl with long, flowing, blond hair, large blue eyes, and smooth skin, one of the most naturally beautiful girls I have ever seen…
        I picked her up and flung her on a table facedown. Two of us stripped her clothes off. One of my men held her down and I began to beat her again and again. My hands began to sting under the blows. Her skin started to blister. I continued to beat her, until pieces of bloody flesh came off on my hand. She moaned but fought desperately not to cry. To suppress her cries, she bit her lower lip until it was bitten through and blood ran down her chin.
        At last she gave in and began sobbing. When I was so exhausted I couldn’t raise my arm for even one more blow, and her backside was mass of raw flesh, I pushed her off the table, and she collapsed on the floor.
        To Sergei’s shock, he later encountered her at yet another prayer meeting. But this time something was different:
There she was again – Natasha Zhdanova!
        Several of the guys saw her too. Alex Gulyaev moved toward Natasha, hatred filling his face, his club raised above his head.
        Then something I never expected to see suddenly happened. Without warning. Victor jumped between Natasha and Alex, facing Alex head-on.
        “Get out of my way” Alex shouted angrily.
        Victor’s feet didn’t move. He raised his club and said menacingly, “Alex, I’m telling you, don’t touch her! No one touches her!”
        I listened in amazement. Incredibly, one of my most brutal men was protecting one of the Believers! “Get back!” he shouted to Alex. “Get back or I’ll let you have it.” He shielded Natasha, who was cowering on the floor.
Angered, Alex shouted, “You want her for yourself, don’t you?”
        “No,” Victor shouted back. “She has something we don’t have! Nobody touches her! Nobody!”
…For one of the first times in my life, I was deeply moved…Natasha did have something! She had been beaten horribly. She had been warned and threatened. She had gone through unbelievable suffering, but here she was again. Even Victor had been moved and recognized it. She had something we didn’t have. I wanted to run after her and ask, “What is it?” I wanted to talk to her, but she was gone. This heroic Christian girl who had suffered so much at our hands somehow touched and troubled me very much.

The Lord later opened Sergei’s heart to the glorious good news of Jesus Christ. As he later reflected on Natasha, whom he never saw again, he wrote:
        And finally, to Natasha, whom I beat terribly and who was willing to be beaten a third time for her faith, I want to say, Natasha, largely because of you, my life is now changed and I am a fellow Believer in Christ with you. I have a new life before me. God has forgiven me, I hope you can also.
        Thank you, Natasha, wherever you are.
        I will never never forget you.

-Application: Let’s start out by yielding and following the HS more each day, be it in the simple obedience of delighting in his Word and prayer daily, to taking courage to reach out and love those the Spirit prompts us to. And let’s also set some objectives for Conference in line with this, it can be in our family, our work, missions or more centrally our heart, and areas of our lives we want to sanctify to be instrumental instruments for God.

Concluding Exhortations

1 Corinthians 3:5-17
(What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.

 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.)

As in these verses, we are instruments. And earlier on it’s also mentioned in 2 Timothy 2:19-21 about articles of different materials used for God’s purposes. On our judgement day, may we be instruments pleasing to God, giving God glory and laying for ourselves this eternal inheritance.

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 As for myself, one area I want to commit to God is to also fast from Clash of Clans along with manga until SEAL camp is over. Like Candy Crush Saga, CoC is a game that often occupies the mind too. I plan to stop CoC-ing after the current clan war ends, and I couldn't come to this decision immediately. But I've decided that greater treasure is found in yielding our hearts to Christ. Also want to invite my aunt and my grandma, who have serious ailments to the Conference Healing Rally. Will also invite others as the Spirit prompts me too! God is gonna act in ACTS and beyond! :D


Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Holy Spirit Revealing Jesus


As I started my day with God. I went to read the Hope Conference ACTS Devotions. It talks about the miracle of the Holy Spirit, and as I read I realized that the worship I was listening to was Holy Spirit by Jesus Culture. And that was during the line "Holy Spirit you are welcome here, come flood this place with your atmosphere". :)

And as I read through the devotion, I pondered about it. It talks about how the gifts of tongues is given to all who are Holy Spirit baptised. I wondered whether it is truly for all as it is a gift of the Spirit and the Holy Spirit allocates gifts to different people. While one may not receive all the gifts of the Spirit, he will develop the fruits of the HS as he yields to the HS.

However as I looked up, it is mentioned that in Acts, whenever people were baptised they break out in tongues as they were filled with the HS. There are 2 kinds of tongues, one which allows people to speak in other languages foreign to theirs, another in which the Spirit intercedes for us to God as we pray. Seeing as to how the speaking of tongues can connect us closer to God, and that that is the desire of our hearts. I believe that the gift of tongues is given to all or almost all who desires for it. However, if you do not have the gift of tongues, it does not mean that you are not saved, for those who truly believe in Jesus as their Lord and Savior are saved.

"Now about the gifts of the Spirit, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.
There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.
Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines." -1 Cor 12:10-11

However, it is shown in the book of Acts, over and over again that people do receive the gift of tongues when they repent and baptized. I believe that the speaking of tongues is a sign from God to assure us that we have received the HS, which is the seal for us for the day of salvation. So, if you do not have the gift of tongues, earnestly pray and ask the HS to give you this gift. God is not stingy, but a loving father, but note that at the end of the day, the HS distributes these gifts to us just as he determines.

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Another point to raise is how it said that we need to be Holy Spirit Baptised to be filled with the HS. I believe that when we repent and receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior, the HS will already come to dwell in us. But we may not be aware of it, and truly acknowledge the HS. The HS will fill us to a different measure for different occasions, such as when we share the gospel, or serve in Church. And what more, even if we do know of the HS, it is important to yield to the HS to let him do his work in our lives.

There are a few scripture passages that highlights how it is not necessary to undergo Holy Spirit Baptism to receive the HS, all of them are from Acts, which is in line with our Church ACTS Conference. But I also believe that many receive a greater infilling of the HS when they go for 'Holy Spirit Baptism' as they are yielding their hearts to the HS and desire for more of him, such as to receive the gift of tongues.

(Three Thousand Believe)
"When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”
Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.”" -Acts 2:37-39

On the day of Pentecost, Peter preached to the people who made fun of those who were filled with the HS. They heard about Jesus as the Messiah and about the coming of the HS and they repented and baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they received the HS.

"While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit came on all who heard the message. The circumcised believers who had come with Peter were astonished that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on Gentiles. For they heard them speaking in tongues and praising God.
Then Peter said,Surely no one can stand in the way of their being baptized with water. They have received the Holy Spirit just as we have.” So he ordered that they be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Then they asked Peter to stay with them for a few days." -Acts 10:44-48

They were filled by hearing the gospel, and that was even on the Gentiles in the early Church. And then they were baptized in the name of Jesus Christ.

"While Apollos was at Corinth, Paul took the road through the interior and arrived at Ephesus. There he found some disciples and asked them, “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?”
They answered, “No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.”
So Paul asked, “Then what baptism did you receive?”
“John’s baptism,” they replied.
Paul said, “John’s baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus. On hearing this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. When Paul placed his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they spoke in tongues and prophesied. There were about twelve men in all." -Acts 19:1-7

After they heard about Jesus, believed and baptized, the HS came on them.

So, we do not have to be legalistic about Holy Spirit Baptism, although it is significant as it draws people to yield to and receive more of the HS. The good news is that you have already received the HS when you believe in Jesus. For me and my mum, and my sheep Etienne, we all started praying and worshiping in tongues before going for 'Holy Spirit Baptism'. Yield your hearts to the HS, just as how you repent to Jesus and want to follow him and the HS will empower you, give you peace, give you gifts, give you joy, intercede for you and be your helper.

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Lastly, I was ending off my quality time with God by reading Revealing Jesus Devotions. Just as I was about to start reading, I saw on the worship video I was listening to "Victor Crown" by Darlene Zschech, a picture of the same devotion. It was God reaffirming that this was a devotion book he lead me to buy and will speak to me through it :)


Monday, May 12, 2014

That Mother Son Day, I meant Sunday

Sunday was Mother's day, and I invited my mum to go for my Church's Mother's Day Service. Was really looking forward to the quality time spent with my mum. But I ended up sleeping in, and my mum said that she tried to wake me up over and over, but I just didn't get up.


^Is that me sleeping in?

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Ok, right. I also went to met up with my first sheep, Alvin, for lunch on Sunday. He used to come to Hope, but stop after he left to HK to study. He is back for NS but is often caught up with weekend duties, trainings and recently NDP rehearsals. However, I thank God for this opportunity to catch up when he asked if we wanted to meet. NS is especially like a prison to him for he had to come all the way from HK to serve in NS and there are few people he know here. Although he is often busy with NS, he may come for service/LG again soon :) We ate at Nihon Mura because the sushi there is cheap, fresh and I just can't get enough of the Aburi Salmon Sushi! All who went there agreed it's great, and I even went there again for dinner today LOL!


The salmon is briefly scotched with fire to produce this special taste. And when u bite it, it melts and burst forth the flavor in your mouth. If u want cheap Aburi Salmon Sushi, get 2 for $1.50 at Cathay Nihon Mura. The restaurant should pay me a small fee for this advertising haha.

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 I got my mother a mug and a perfume diffuser with an additional pink flower in it. The mug has the words "Thank You Mum" on it. So I planned to serve my mum water with the mug when she is home. When she came home, I served her water. She looked at the cup and then said no thanks I'm not thirsty.


For a moment I just stunned there. Then I just carried on to pour the water away, and went to get the perfume diffuser to give to her. I decided to still pass the empty mug along with the perfume diffuser. When she got it she was surprised, and then she realized that the mug was a gift for her too. She did not notice the words on the cup previously haha.


I'm just thankful for such an awesome and loving mum. Who chooses to send me to work each morning whenever she can, just to spend that bit more time with me, who often buys and cooks good food for me, loves me in many tangible ways and even provide for me beyond her means. She isn't earning yet as her business is still under development and investment. Yet she still provides for me as best as she could. She is really sacrificial and serving, which is in line with the way Jesus loves us.

I'm a stubborn son who is often impatient to her, but she showers me with love everyday. I'm really a tsundere when it comes to my relationship with her. I'm often concern of her well-being and am always grateful for everything she did, but I often act like a tsundere and not truly express my gratitude and love back to her. I want to honor her more, be more patient and love her more genuinely like how Jesus would love us, and continue to support her in her StarArk business.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

He Fills Our Cup

Today, my heart was feeling heavy again. I love to serve God and his Kingdom. However it just affects me when the people I serve alongside with do not initiate, do not respond, do not help, and as result I end up planning and executing most things. If I'm able to plan and execute most of it, I can very well choose to do it all without others being involved if they aren't helping.

Just when I felt this way and confide with some about it, I also went to spend some quality time with God. And as I journal and prayed, God spoke to me through his Word and the devotion I've been reading. It was so timely for me, and the devotion said exactly what I needed to hear:


Paul delighted so much in loving people and building God's kingdom that he can't help himself. And God kept filling him up as he gave himself to the right things at the right time. And then the verse from Isaiah (One of my favourite) further reminded that God will renew us and help us soar.

As though the reminder wasn't isn't enough, God then made the people I am serving with respond altogether and started actively helping shortly after I spent quality time with God. This is just as what the devotion says, that God will fill us up timely. Initially, I just wanted to carry on to plan and execute most of it on my own and only ask another person for help. But, when everybody started to respond and help, I would only be stubborn and foolish if I choose not to take their help, which God is extending to me through them. Hence, we worked together and I won't be taking most of the workload on my own, which may end up weighing down my heart more.

Friday, May 9, 2014

The Grand Weaver



Recently, as I look to God as the source, I also dwell more and more in the truth that he is the Center of it all. I've been hearing testimonies of how God works in the life of those around me, and I'm real encouraged by it. It shows how God truly is the provider, and that he is Sovereign, and how Jesus leads us as we go through life.

Today's great :) And I just spent time with God. As I was praying, he revealed to me how much he has been moving, not just in the lives of my friends and LG, but even very recently in my life and the life of my family. He also answered me on the spot, about a dilemma I was facing when I committed it to him in prayer!

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My dilemma was whether or not to extend my Surgery MC when I go for my surgery follow-up appointment tomorrow. It was a dilemma for me because my nose might be infected, as it still bleed sometimes and I'm smelling this nauseating smell 24/7 all the time. Furthermore, due to my rib, I still can't exercise. However, if I wanted to I can walk about and do light duties in camp. I want to go back to camp so that I can fellowship with the new section mate Elisha more, and also continue to work with and love the rest of my section, so that they may come to know God in the future(Some of my section mates are willing to visit my Church soon). Then as I was praying and presenting this dilemma to God, at that very moment, the lyrics from Planetshakers - I'm Forever Yours spoke to me:

I give my all to you
Send me and i will go for you
To the ends of the earth
I'll follow after you
I want the world to know
Your love endures forever

Tell me and i'll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting you and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have your way in me
Not my will, yours be done

Here i stand within your presence
Longing for your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in your courts

God answered me, that I want the world to know his love. That trusting him to lead me will always lead to blessing, not my will but his be done. And that I long for his presence more than anything, and his presence is not when I stay at home all day, or in Church all day, or at work all day, but wherever he leads me. And so, if the doctor doesn't give me MC, I won't ask for it even though I can. And if the doctor thinks I need MC, I will tell the doctor not to give me a long rest as I want to go back by next week. God's will be done.

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Today I'm meeting my sheep Ben. And our appointed time was shifted earlier to 6.30 as we are watching Spiderman 2 at 8.15. I was about to be quite late, but it just so happened that my dad is coming home to bring my bro for shopping near town. I hitched the ride and was able to get there a bit later than 6.30, which gave Ben sufficient time to buy a new Journal before we meet.

I passed Ben the book called The Grand Weaver as it speaks about how God weaves all the events that happen in our lives, and even disappointments and pains we face. Ben was notified to be Pes F and is excused from NS. He wants to stay on in the NS Ministry to serve and grow in character even when he moves on to Uni this year; but he wants God's will to be done. I felt that this book would speak to him more and unveiled God's direction for him.

We ate at Ichiban Sushi, and I was worried about my budget. This was because I took a step of faith to give a month worth of my NS pay for the Church Hope Center Building Project for the youths in Kampong Glam. I was left with about $25 in bank LOL. But even in this area of finances, I can see God's fingerprints in it and will share more later in this post.

I also shared with Ben about how God is the Center of it All, and the HS empowered and guided me in speech and in phrasing to share more effectively than I could imagine, and I shared it real quickly! It was the first time I gave a sharing so detailed yet so quickly (30-40 minutes whilst munching on dinner).

Then came the movie. I was reluctant to watch at first as it would be my 2nd time watching. However God prompted me to just go ahead even when I did not have much $$$ and just join in to fellowship with my LG. This was mainly because Tjun Sern my sheep was coming, he rarely gets to join for service/LG due to NS and commitments. When I watch it again, I didn't regret it :) Especially because of the graduation speech Gwen made, which reminded me of Hope (Our Church, and how we are a city on a hill, the light of the world, and that God is our Hope). Check the speech out below. And I also thank God that after the movie, Tjun Sern says he could make time for service this weekend.



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Ok so now to the area of my finances, when I gave my NS pay as an offering, I didn't give it simply with the faith that God will bless me more beyond what I would expect. But I gave because I wanted to partake in the joy of giving to God's Kingdom, just as Jesus delights in his bride (The Church). Also as how the Macedonian Churches delighted in giving even in poverty:

"And now, brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people." -2 Corinthians 8:1-4

Then I remember that among those who watched the movie today, each person owe me $5 or more, so I could cover for my dinner and movie and had spare. I also got the good news today, that I'll be refunded $45 for my Conference registration, as I accidentally paid for working adult fee when I registered a few months ago. Furthermore, I've been praying for my mum's business daily that God would pour in financial providence as she was really in a pinch; the business required lots of funding to start up and further develop on. And today, she just received the news of receiving government funding, and its just in time, so that she could pay for her employees, further fund projects and pay for my brother's air ticket as he is flying off this Saturday. I trust that God will continue to be my unlimited source, and that I will never go completely bankrupt. Jesus said not to worry as God will provide it all as I seek him first, his Kingdom and his righteousness, amen.

Also, I thank God for arranging for me to send off my LG year 1s to Tekong. Through it, I got to participate in Project Hard to
❤ talk and was blessed. And also through it, further discuss and plan for an upcoming NS ministry event that cannot be disclose here yet :P

Lastly, my mother agreed to join me for Mother's Day Service this weekend. And I thank God for how he weaved everything together even in this. It just so happened that my brother's flight time was 8pm on Saturday. So I could go for SEAL training till 4pm, and then send my brother off with my family. And even though I'll miss the usual 2nd service, I get to go for service on Sunday with my mum. What a blessing! God you really are watching over my whole family :)

So, brothers and sisters, God is indeed the Grand Weaver. You may not see his fingerprints clearly, but he is doing a work even in the small events of our daily life. And it will be revealed to us more clearly if we pray and continually look to him!

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Lastly, there's been this news about how a 1500 year old "Bible" was found, and there's the gospel of Barnabas that claims Jesus was never crucified and that the Apostle Paul is an impostor. I have no idea how this book came about. But I'm certain that Jesus is my Savior and Lord. He is the way, the truth and the life! Why? Because God's love, grace, providence, wisdom, guidance, joy has been so abundant in my life, and I have this intimate relationship with Jesus and talk to him daily. Furthermore, the old testament always points towards Jesus as the Messiah and God. David, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Daniel and many others saw Jesus or received visions of who Jesus was, is and will be. Today as I read Psalms 1&2. Psalms 2 really drove this point home:
Why do the nations conspire
    and the peoples plot in vain?
The kings of the earth rise up
    and the rulers band together
    against the Lord and against his anointed, saying, 
“Let us break their chains
    and throw off their shackles.”
 The One enthroned in heaven laughs;
    the Lord scoffs at them. 
He rebukes them in his anger
    and terrifies them in his wrath, saying, 
“I have installed my king
    on Zion, my holy mountain.”
 I will proclaim the Lord’s decree:
He said to me, “You are my son;
    today I have become your father. 
Ask me,
    and I will make the nations your inheritance,
    the ends of the earth your possession. 
You will break them with a rod of iron;
    you will dash them to pieces like pottery.”
 Therefore, you kings, be wise;
    be warned, you rulers of the earth. 
Serve the Lord with fear
    and celebrate his rule with trembling. 
Kiss his son, or he will be angry
    and your way will lead to your destruction,
for his wrath can flare up in a moment.
    Blessed are all who take refuge in him.
It talks about how God is sovereign, even if the nations gather against God and his Kingdom, he will reign. It also mentioned Jesus, the Anointed One, the King installed on Zion, his Son who God glorifies above all. So no matter what "evidences" and "prophets" come in these end times, Jesus you are my way, my truth and my life. I love you Jesus :)