Joseph & Pharoah

I was just reading Genesis 41 and got some serious goosebumps from it!! I shared last time that there were many parallels of Joseph life to Jesus. And there were even more when I read chapter 41 again! Some previous parallels mentioned were that Joseph was the beloved son, but he was betrayed & thrown to the depths, he had 12 brothers (not disciples). And in prison he talked to 2 prisoners, one got hanged, one got restored (just like Jesus talked to one of the criminals on the cross and said he will be with Him in paradise).

So in Genesis 41, Joseph interpreted Pharaoh's dreams, was restored and put in charge of Egypt. 

1. Joseph like Jesus said, "I cannot do it, but God will", as a yielding to the Father and the HS.  

2. Joseph was 30 years old when he entered the service of Pharoah & traveled throughout Egypt (As Jesus entered ministry at the age of 30 & traveled throughout Israel)

3. Joseph stored huge quantities of food till it was uncountable (Wherever God placed Joseph, favor came. It's like proclaiming the Year of the Lord's Favor to Egypt, as Jesus did to the world)

4. And all countries came to Egypt for the food (As all gentiles receive from Israel the good news of Christ)

Cool stuff right? :) What's also cool was some other stuff God spoke to me personally too 

In the chapter God gave Pharaoh 2 dreams. Likewise, God gave me 2 dreams in the past few days including yesterday. One was that I was helplessly unable to answer questions while taking my stats finals, another was that I was helplessly late for stats final from oversleeping. It felt like game over in both dreams.

When God gives prophecies and a word, it is a call to action and to respond. I have been sick for days and could not do much studying, and was also quite distracted (started playing a game too, alamak) When it comes to stats, there are still many questions that I'm confused just from staring at work solutions. However, I wanna do what I can today before the paper tomorrow, and am reminded again to sleep earlier and earlier. 

Another thing I noted was that God indeed makes our paths straight and is the one that appoints us. Pharoah said, 

"Can we find anyone like this man, one in whom is the spirit of God? Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are submit to your orders."

Joseph was just a prisoner before he interpreted for Pharaoh. But Joseph stayed in close fellowship and obedience with God. And just in a moment, God raised him from a prisoner to 2nd-in-charge of Egypt. Let us really desire to be sons/daughters of God, obeying and communing with Him as Jesus does(And God put in Jesus authority and Lordship over all things). God desires to draw us close to Him, help us become who He created us to be & give us good things.

Praise God for these things He can speak through this chapter and may He continue to lead us & do His work in this Christmas! Amen :)

Life of a SMU-GGER // かぞく(Family) // Tuition with Christ

I really should be SMUgging for my midterms now. But I really wanna blog today HAHA

Well to start off with something, I had my first midterms on Monday. I totally flung my stats paper :( It was unexpected because I did arguably more practices than others and also did ample revision. I thought I might even do well, but I ended up finding the paper hard, not knowing how to do questions, and also being careless at some. Well, it is already a thing of the past. I only hope to know why I did unexpectedly badly, and be able to do well for the remaining assignments and the finals.

The journey in SMU hasn’t been easy thus far. I do not regret choosing Biz and taking it at SMU. However, I’ve been struggling to cope with studies and the many commitments I have. I had to drop some of them, but yet I still find studies tough and I’ve not been getting enough rest. There are other troubles as well, and I’ve been getting headaches(Everyday for weeks), a worsening sore throat that’s around for a week(I’m starting to lose my voice and cough), and a really horrible tooth & gum pain after my recent braces tightening. However, I thank God for how he is molding me and pouring His grace in my life in this tough season.

In my Biz Law mod, me and brother Pei Da are in the same class. I was also in the same OG in orientation with him. I’m glad to be journeying in SMU with this brother that I knew since I came to Hope.

For Stats mod, I knew some friends from there. And I’m so glad to have been able to form study sessions and groups with some friends in the class. I also happened to meet Alicia, when I was on the way home from an orientation camp, and we are classmates now. We studied together, and I also invited her for the Ravi Zacharias sharing. I’m glad for this friendship and I’m also glad to know that she is open to know God more.

For Econs mod, I didn’t know anyone and was randomly grouped into a 3 person group, whereas other groups had 4 or 5 people. However, we got to enjoy the journey as we worked together for our project. And I’m so happy to be able to pray and commit our group project together with my group mates just before the presentation :)

In my Leadership & Team-building mod, my prof is a Christian that even mentioned Jesus washing the disciples foot under servant leadership. We were randomized into project groups, and I ended up in the group with Rachel who is also in Hope, and Yu Hang a CCA-mate in JC, they were the only 2 I knew in my class. When I first class participated, my prof also remarked that my name “Joel Isaiah” was very prophetic to the class LOL. She also told me personally that I had a very good attitude. I somehow became the leader of my 8 member group overtime, and it really isn’t easy. I have to balance, to not be the one who forces tasks or directions, but also get everyone to bond and participate together. But I find it a blessing to go through such an experience to lead and God’s been blessing our team and our project greatly. We are even linking with Hope Centre and my mother’s education company for our CSR initiative project.

There were many other things that happened too. I will just mention 3 of them in this post.
The first mention is that I kinda had a fallout with a brother, where we experienced barriers in communicating and relating to each other. There was also tension and a little disappointment when an incident happened unintentionally. However, through the saga, I learned to a deeper extent, that despite of fall outs, conflicts or communication difficulties, love triumphs. As God loves me and always reaches out to me. As I continue to let this brother know that I love and care for him, it can go beyond words. And love never fails, love never gives up. I’m glad for our strengthened friendship as we continue to care for each other and seek God together.

The next mention is that I am cherishing my family much more. I took out time to exercise with my brother, to eat his cooking, to talk and even had one discussion that was from night till sunrise before he flew back to London. My family is going through arguably the toughest season thus far and each of us are facing some of the toughest circumstances. There were tears and weariness, but there were also much care and concern, and we also drew closer to God as a family.

Just before my brother flew off, I initiated for a family LG and we really got to have it. I played guitar for worship for the first time, playing “Heart of Worship”. It was riddled with mistakes, but we were still ministered as we worshiped together. We also looked at a sharing quickly, talked as a family and prayed together. I’m so thankful for this blessed experience and I know that God will continue to watch over us in His love. Though life is really really busy now, I hope to continue to care for and spend time with my family, to keep in contact with my brother in UK, and to continually pray for them.

 The last mention is the 2nd tuition that I got. Before I got it, I did not have a lot financially. As I stayed in contact with some of the brothers and sisters I met in Cambodia, I was moved by their cause and was burdened for their need for providence. In faith, I decided to give out of my pocket and gave $50 to them. I hope that I can continue to give even in the future, and I’m also glad that I’m going back to visit them during my SMU OCSP next year. A while after I gave, an agent contacted me that I got this 2nd tuition job. It was to teach Secondary 3 English. I did not feel prepared, and I felt even more inadequate when I finally had my first lesson with my tutee Wei Qin. He was really studious, and his English isn’t really that bad, yet he somehow failed the previous exam(partly because of the strictness in marking). During the first lesson, I really didn’t know how to teach him English.

However, something very divine happened at my 2nd lesson with Wei Qin today. I was so worried that I cannot properly teach Wei Qin in English, so I asked Jia Jin(a brother in Hope who gives English tuition) if he wants to teach Wei Qin. But it turned out that my new tutee can only afford one lesson per week and he is ok with me to continue to teach him English, Maths and Sciences, even though I felt so inadequate in teaching English. Today we met for a 2.5h tuition, and I went through the essay that I asked him to write in the 1st lesson. It was to share about his experience in secondary school. He was from Whitley Secondary School at Bishan, and when I was in Hope Central in Ablaze, my LG was combined between Kuo Chuan(my secondary school) and Whitley. In his essay, he talked about being bullied, and he was so depressed till he even thought of taking his life a few times. He also cried out to God to help him even though he wasn't 'religious'. He didn't write on about whether God did help him. Although his perspective differs from mine, we both went through similar experiences of being bullied when we entered secondary school and we both cried out to God.

I haven't got to share about my experience to encourage him and to tell him about God's love, but I will next week. Furthermore, the English assessment that I gave to him is really helping him. Today I was really able to connect with him, and teach him effectively in both English and Maths. It was by God's grace as I have not touched the O level maths syllabus since O’s, and I was feeling so inadequate to teach English previously. I taught him longer than required, from 2.5 to almost 3.5 hours. And he also treated me to Starbucks. I want to continue to invest in this tutee's life, and more than anything, to bring him to know God's love and receive Christ in his life in the days to come :) Praise God

That’s not everything that happened, but I’ll stop here. I’m also having a headache now, and I still have that bad mouth pain and sore throat. Do pray for my health and rest. I’ll go back to studying and to QT-ing later :) See ya

Lamplight

This season hasn't easy for me. While I constantly know at the back of my mind that God is with me through it all, I was slowly keeping less in step with the Spirit. It is much easier to succumb, to be flooded by all the work, commitments and r/s, there's worries like in my r/s with my family, existing problems and my finances etc. Things have been getting quite hard to manage as I lagged behind even in some school work and I've not been getting enough rest. I've not been spending quality time with God very regularly and feel away from God's intimate love at times.

Along the road to my house, there is one street lamp that is spoilt, but I never took notice of it before. Last midnight as I trudged home with my heavy baggage and weariness after Uni-Y camp, I approached this spoilt lamp. Just before I passed it, it suddenly flared up and shone really brightly.. I wondered at this occurrence and took a photo. I believed it to be a sign that meant something, but the light went off suddenly after a while.

Tonight when I was reaching home, I was on my phone as I walked down this road to my house. Just when I approached this lamp(not realizing it was spoilt), it suddenly flared up really brightly again!! It shone much brighter than the rest again and I was stunned. As I marveled again, it reminded me of God's love. It felt as if God is saying to me,

"Even if it's dark, even if it's weary, even if you can't really see, I am Your light. I will shine for you, it is not just My Word that is a lamp unto you feet, I Myself will be Your light because I love you."

It reminded me of Ps Benny Ho's sermon too, where it is shared that people get burnt out in life when their motivation is doing good, getting achievements, fulfilling the great commission.. anything. The only thing that can keep them burning brightly is when they are driven by God's unchanging love.

And I just felt God's unchanging and relentless love through this small street lamp encounters. Though I may not be fully filled and rested in His love, and I may feel burnt out like that spoilt lamp, He will yet burn that lamp on brightly for me Himself, because He loves me.. He loves you too, and I pray that your life may be filled with it as you continue to look to Him in all things :)

The Silversmith

It's been over a week since I've posted about the Psalm 23 Life. I ended off saying that we cannot conceive or imagine what God has, and that even in periods like hell, God is faithful and will make a way out. It is indeed true that we cannot conceive or image what God has, I had no idea that these were in stored for me in the week I've been through.

This Monday, I started off my journey as a helper for the Freshman Team Building camp 3rd run. I had a good time of bonding and fun from the get go. We named our helpers group as Team Foxtrot and had the "What Does The Fox Say" cheer. Many of the Foxies are really enthusiastic to help and to bond together through the camp.

However, I fell sick on the 2nd of 4 days of camp. I got an infection on my throat and even my tongue. I also developed a back pain on my right shoulder blade, and it hasn't been going away even till now, it may be worsening as well. My throat infection was getting quite bad, but by God's grace I managed to facilitate station games, and continued to talk, and the pain got better as I took some lozenges from my friend and lots of water. During the camp, I also lost my bag with important things and valuables. It took many hours, and the mobilization of many from the organizing committee and Team Foxtrot to finally find it.

Just as we were about to break camp, I got to talk with 2 girls in Team Foxtrot. As I shared more about the fellowship I have with SMU Hope Family, I got to know that both of them were from Hope and even knew many people there. Both of them were the most enthusiastic to help and bond among the Foxies as they often stayed up later than any of us to bond and also volunteered to stay back later than any to help. It was really cool to know that they were in Hope and are Christians, just before we boarded separate buses and went on separate ways.

After breaking camp, I went for my FTB C9 outing at Marina Barrage. I really enjoyed the time there as we had a big picnic, celebrated Ethan's birthday together, shared about our recent happenings and joked about many stuff. I'll definitely treasure these friends as we go into our student life in SMU.

Much of all that I've shared thus far, are just my experiences. But behind the scenes, there had been inconceivable things going on.. My aunt isn't well, yet I recently got into a big fight with her just when she started to come to Hope Church and seek God more. My mum is very stressed by various important matters. My dad needs to stand all the more firmly as the pillar of financial support in this season. Some other things happened too, but among them I heard the worse news of my life in my whole 22 years, it was of someone's world crashing(literally) and it was so bad such that it felt like the world was crashing for others too.. It was to the point that the person and others have been affected and crying.

I wanted to cry too, but the tears didn't come. I don't know what to do, why are these bad things happening, one after another, in a short phase of just one week???? Even yesterday, my room door suddenly locked on it's own while I'm outside the room. Even with the key, we had problems opening it, but at midnight when I tried(pulling more and turning), the door finally opened. However a strange sight was that my computer was still showing the desktop screen and not screensaver, even though nobody had entered the room for hours.

I was affected, after all, these things are happening to my family, relatives and closed ones. Things aren't all smooth sailing for me either, I still have my throat infection and back pain, I lack sleep, I left my big camping bag at a bus interchange. I cannot say that I'm not affected, I cannot say that I am not sad. I do question God why, why must things be the way it is? Especially for that worse news I've heard in my life.. But I did not question to the point of going to depression, to tears, to a lost of hope, to feeling betrayed and hurt.. No, God has been too faithful, too loving, too true, I cannot, Cannot, CANNOT stop myself from falling madly in love with Jesus, from running to the embrace of my Heavenly Father, from receiving the Holy Spirit..

I went to Nicole’s 21st with my summer missions group yesterday, we had a great time of fun and bonding till 2 in the morning. I was sick, I was tired, I was affected, yet I looked normal and cheerful. It wasn't the time for me to share with these friends even though they were close to me, as they do not yet knew of the upgraded Hell week that spawned out of nowhere again. I genuinely enjoyed the time of fellowship, and I do need continual fellowship from dear ones in my life and with God. I cannot break down, I cannot lose hope, not when I cannot properly share and explain about these circumstances to people around me, and not when these close ones around me need hope.

Today, as I went for service, the sermon was on seasons in our lives. It talked about recognizing each season, prioritizing maturity in every season, and persevering till the end of each season. As the sermon was shared, it was not as if the words shared did not resonated with me, it did. But I felt a sense of frustration. This story about God's as the silversmith was shared too:

The Refiner's Touch 

There was a group of women in a Bible study on the book of Malachi. As they were studying chapter three they came across verse three which says, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study. That week the woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that, in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse, that He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. For if the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"  He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's the easy part -- when I see my image reflected in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep His hand on you and watch over you until He sees His image in you.

God, have You not molded me over the years? In my NS? Especially over the 8 months since ORD? And that 2.5 weeks that I've been through? Have You not refined me over and over and over and over again? My pride, my love for people, my faith, my hope, my personal struggles, my wisdom, my stewardship, my talents, my intimacy with You.. Have You not molded me, even exponentially towards reflecting Your image? I thought the 2.5 weeks of experience was like a conclusion to how much You have been refining and molding me.. I did not ask and I did not expect for another even worse Hell Week to surface. It isn't even about myself, worlds are crashing down; physical, emotional, financial, spiritual breakdowns, what am I supposed to do God? I get that You've refined me over and over, then now these crazy things have to happen to close ones around me? God, please don't let them break down, if not I may break down too..

After the time of LG fellowship after service, I remembered about the Josiah Assembly that was going on at Paya Lebar Methodist Church at 8pm today. It was near my house, Jeanette and Johanna were going too. However, I would be late if I go for it and I was really quite sick, tired and perhaps affected. I managed to see a doctor to get antibiotics and stuff, and still headed down to the assembly at 9+ in the end.

The assembly was really amazing, people, especially youths came and really laid themselves before God. Many broke out in sincere confessions and in lots of tears, I couldn't helped but cried too. The assembly was a call for us to be set apart for God. It was the theme that God had spoke to me since the start of this year. Initially, I felt that it was a bit redundant to go, since God has already spoken to me to set myself apart, and furthermore I was sick, tired and weighted down. But as I went, and as we really worshiped, prayed, and laid it all down to God, I started letting go of the things that weighted me down, be it just for a moment, and just rejoice, and just dance in the freedom in God's Spirit and Love.. I reminded myself again, that I did set in my heart that there's no turning back, the Cross before me, the world behind me. I had dedicated my life to God, that meant that even when really bad circumstances happens to those around me, I will still continue to dedicate my burdens, my worries, my concerns to God and live for Him. His yoke is gentle, His burden is light, and He deserves my all.

The day before, I woke up and decided to watch a sermon "Banning Liebscher - Falling Deeply In Love With Jesus". It talks about how, we cannot possibly live the Christian life, or transform our nation, unless we give our all and set ourselves apart to Jesus. We can't possibly give our all either, unless we knew how much Jesus gave us and how he so fully loves us. I know His Love to be true in my heart, even amidst these chaos, confusion, pain and storm. So Jesus, I'll continue to set myself apart and give myself to you.. Be my shepherd, lead me through this valley of Baka, and by Your grace make it into a place of springs so that my loved ones may be filled to the overflow with Your Love and Favor too.

The Psalm 23 Life

In this post, I am sharing with you about the Most Crazy and Amazing 2.5 weeks of my WHOLE Life. Whatever that I have written is true and is not fabricated, you can ask me personally, or anyone else involved in this event.

Dengue Fever - Hell Week

Yes, so sometime during the 2nd week of July, I might have too much sugar in my blood. This bugger bit me and it might have been the same one that bit my mum a week earlier.

On that Friday(10/7/2015), I left house to play basketball. Just when I stepped out, I suddenly felt extremely giddy, so giddy that I may even fall down or walk into a tree. But I dismissed it as a passing giddy spell and went to play basketball anyway. When I played, I didn't feel giddy anymore and was even in top form. I overexerted myself while playing, and when I stopped, my body was extremely weak, shivering, cold, and I was feeling a bit giddy again. When I got home that night, I developed a headache, it did not go away and just before I slept, I somehow knew that it will still be there after I wake up the next morning.

Saturday(11/7/2015), I woke up feeling horrible. My skull felt like it was being crushed, my head was really giddy, my eyes hurt too. I also had really bad body aches, especially at the whole of my lower back from over-exertion. I tossed about my bed for almost 2h, before forcing myself out of bed to cab down for Church service. I did not know if it was smart of me, but when I spent the time to worship God. I was happy, that I did not just worship when things are ok and good, but I get to acknowledge His goodness and greatness even while I'm so sick. Pastor Tim also shared that it is not about how we feel, but about our deliberate choice to worship God that pleases God. Hence, I was glad I cabbed down and went home after that.

I continued resting at home, but it only became worse, to add on to the worsening symptoms, my body was burning up quite badly. The body aches were on par with all the other pains, as they hurt a lot regardless of whether I stand, sit or lie down. By the time I got to hospital, I got a 39.5C fever, I really felt like I was dying. The few drips the nurses gave really lowered my fever and made me much better, despite of the other symptoms that remained.

For the rest of the weekend, until the mid week(11-15th July), I could do nothing. I just kept sleeping, I could not help my mum with her work, I could barely do a bit of housework, and I could not read the Bible or journal. On Thursday, I dragged myself to LG(Or cell group), and I could not stay the whole way as I was really giddy. On Friday, I crashed my friend house too, but I was giddy all the time.

"Prosperity" in All Areas - Hell Week Finale

Then came this horrible Saturday(18/7/2015). Because of Polyclinic check up, I missed half of service and the worship. My dad also gave me $100, but I lost it and I had no idea where it went. I was in need of financial providence so $100 is BIG. The sermon at service was on "Prosperity in all areas", and was taught as part of the core values in the Singapore pledge. However, I certainly felt like the opposite was the case in all areas. I did not even have $10 to give for offering.

My computer internet access suddenly stopped working, and the connection still displayed "Internet Access". I could not browse the internet, but the Skype was somehow working. Every other computer in the house worked fine. I spent hours trying to fix it while I was sick and needed rest, but nothing worked. I wanted to reboot it, but realized I needed a CD to reboot Windows 8.1 and I did not have it. Then, there are also many people in my life that needed help/support(be it financially, emotionally etc), and I would have been able to help if I was fully well. But I was still sick and miserable. My LG also discussed for a fellowship event, but a picnic at Botanic Gardens just did not click with me, but it may have been because I was already very sian at this point.

I lacked sleep, my health was bad, my finances was lacking, my computer screwed up, things don't go the way I expected(schedule, fellowship planning etc), people around me needed help(some whom I promised I would help, but couldn't because of illness). The worse part of it was that I didn't know what to do about them all. I cannot fix my computer, I'm simply down with dengue, my $100 is no where to be found, what am I to do?

I felt like Job, the man of God lost the prosperity he had in all areas of his life and was even stricken with ailments overnight. The suffering, agony and confusion he went through is much more than whatever I felt at the moment. I was so sian, that I was punching walls, moaning in agony, rolling around my bed, walking around, over and over again.

But before I slept, I read the Bible on 1 Thessalonians 5(The final words of Paul to the Thessalonians):

"Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.
 
But you, brothers and sisters, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil.

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.

Brothers and sisters, pray for us. Greet all God’s people with a holy kiss. I charge you before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers and sisters.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you."

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for that is God's will for me." Ok, God I know that you are real in my life. I don't know why are areas in my life failing, and how they can get better. I feel really sian, but because you say to give thanks regardless of circumstances. I will praise you for the goodness you have already shown me, for your greatness, for all that you created, for your everlasting love, and more. Let your will be done in my life God.


The Turning Point - Heaven Week

It's Sunday(19/7/2015), my summer missions team was meeting to celebrate 2 ppl's birthdays. However at the last minute, people cmi or had to come late. To add on to that, we had not designed the cards, got the cakes and planned the surprises. I was also still sick and sian, I thought that we may not even get to meet on the Sunday anymore. To my surprise, the birthday celebrations were great and we had a good fellowship too.

I was still giddy, and I had to shop for a list of stuff for SMU Freshman Team Building(FTB) Orientation camp. However, I did not have much money, and the stuff that I needed to get (thermometer, trash bags, torchlight, poncho etc). I first went to an IT shop to consult the staff about my computer's issue. The staff told me that Windows 8.1 needed CD to reboot, but for Acer brand, you do not need the CD, and you can simply refresh(rebooting while keeping data) the computer. I did that when I got home and my computer is back up again and I like it more now after reorganizing some stuff on it. What was more amazing was that when I suddenly decided to give my mum a call to ask her if we already have any of the items I am shopping for, she told me that she was also at Nex, and she accompanied me to get all the things I needed.

On Monday(20/7/2015), me and 2 other friends are supposed to meet at SMU to practice guitar. I was a noob at guitar, and I wasn't really keen as we are going there from early noon. I haven't been sleeping enough, and if I go there in the early noon, it means that I'll stay there until evening before I go for my short 45 minutes of piano class. However, as I went, we really had a great time jamming, playing new songs and I learned some new chords. During the piano class, I also realized that I already knew many of the dynamics, musicality and techniques I can work on if I want to improve much more, it gave me perspective that I can continue to improve much more. The Monday was like a musicality day, but little did I know what God has in stored for me in music did not stop here.


Freshman Team Building camp

Tuesday(21/7/2015) was the first day of the FTB orientation run 2. As I was sick, I did not join my OG for a pre-camp meet up. However I was not nervous, even before I met them I knew that they will be an awesome bunch who wants to bond. It also just happened that me and Pei Da are in the same OG out of 40. I knew Pei Da since Secondary 2 when I first came to Hope Church, it was also then that he came. It also happened that one of my church brother's close friend(Wei Qi), whom I just met weeks before, happened to be in my OG too.

Even on the first day, our group was distinctly different from other OGs. Other OGs may be playing cards, games and forfeits. But our OG spent most time just to bond and know each other, from sharing interesting stuff, to 2 truths 1 lie, to sharing about one of the SMU Lifelesson Values that relates to us. Through the sharings, it could be seen that many pursue individuality, they pursue to find significance, they pursue to find love and true friends, they pursue to discover themselves and all that life has to offer to them. I am excited for them because they will surely discover more in Uni, and also because God is the one who helps us discover and receive it all, I for one can testify over and over again to that.

Over the 3 days, we just kept sharing about our lives to each other, be it through games like Burning Bridges, I Have Never, Truth or Dare or just open discussions. I also got to have personal conversations with almost all of my group mates and their lives can be surprising. You cannot judge a book by a cover on who may be attached or not, who may club or not, who may be quiet or loud. But I'm really glad to know each and every one of them, and am proud that we are still actively meeting up and talking. Even though we did not get best clan award, I honestly thought we are the best OG ever! You guys rock :)

I really believe that God was the true head facilitator of the camp. The camp committee agreed that FTB Run 2 was a blast. And as the camp theme was divergent, my clan was Candor. They have cheers like "Candor tell me the truth. (Everyone crosses fingers) #Truth!" and tag lines like "The truth will prevail", "The truth will set you free". Are these not lines that are found in the Bible? Jesus said these. He said the truth will set you free, and said "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, you can come to God the Father through me". These are truths that I hold dearly in my faith and continually claim and see coming true through the experiences in my life.

 Awakening - Heaven Week Finale

http://in5d.com/signs-and-symptoms-of-a-spiritual-awakening/

After the events of dengue, bad circumstances, a turn around & FTB camp, the Most Crazy 4 days HAPPENED

Day 1 - Wake

We broke camp at 4pm on Thursday(23/7/2015). I was really tired as I only slept 4h during camp. Many went home and go to sleep. But I went home and went to a wake. A good friend's father passed away. This good friend really cares for others and loves God, but this passing came suddenly. I did not know his family but I came for the wake. God also gave me a Word of Knowledge for the friend, and convicted me to help him as he rests in this period. As the Eulogy was being shared, I started crying and I could not stop myself. I did not even know my friend's father, but I was so overwhelmed then. It reminded me of when Jesus went to Lazarus' wake, and he wept for him and his family. Even though Jesus was going to raise him up from the dead, He still felt so overwhelmed with compassion that He wept along with the family. The pastor also shared during the wake, that what the world truly needs, is just a bit of love. Not more money, not more health, not more beauty, but just love for each other.

That is what God is too. God is Love, and He commands us to love Him with our all, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. It is said in 1 John 4:7-12,

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

 Can I have an Amen to that? It is all about Love, Love, Love..

Day 2 - The Inner Room
 
I went home and slept for 11h before starting my Friday(24/7/2015). I would usually start my day with the Bible, but I decided to ate food first. I checked out a new sermon by a new speaker as I ate, it was "The Call to the Inner Room" by Banning Liebscher. It was the first time I listened to this guy. But man, he spoke with such humor, such truth and such love. As I listened, I became so in awe. He was speaking a Word that resonated so deeply with me. It was THE WORD that concludes the experiences I’ve been through in the past 8 months after ORD-ing. It was also THE WORD for the rest of this year and the future ahead.

God is Life, we are part of this Life too. God does not simply moves through events, objects or places. No, He moves through men, for we are alive and we receive and give His love. Many are called, but few are chosen. Why? Because many did not respond. How can we respond? By going to the inner room of prayer. God watches over our lives and He loves to be found (Just as a father would want to be found by his child in Hide-and-seek). He yearns to speak to us and be with us, so we simply have to come to him personally. Ask-Seek-Knock, and the door will open unto you. I’ve started spending more time in personal prayer, and it gave me such peace of mind, love, excitement and security in being myself and in doing things that I do. Because the more I do so, the more I know God is with me, He loves me, He loves all people, and He will be with me to the very end of the age as I also love others.

It’s really cool that Church Corporate Prayer Meet was in the evening, so we can come to pray together just after I listened to a sermon about prayer. The prayer meet was the most ministering one ever, it was not one where we had to pray a lot for others, but we simply received God’s love personally through the time. God spoke to me different Words of Knowledge that He wanted me to share with some in my LG, and our LG also prayed for each others, and those who were not around. God is such a personal God, and He will continue to move in Singapore as we continue to commune with Him in His love for us and the nation. SG50, the year of Jubilee, may you show your favor upon us just as you do to the Israelites, whenever they turn to you in earnest prayer.

Day 3 -  Progress

 Lying on my bed, I look at my phone, it was already 8am on Saturday(25/7/2015). I could not sleep at all, I was on my bed the whole time, but I was overwhelmed by all that God has spoken to me and all that He has done in my life, so I kept thinking about it the whole night. As I saw the sunrise, it reminded me of the song "This is Living" by Hillsong Young & Free.

Waking up knowing there's a reason
All my dreams come alive
Life is for living with You
I've made my decision

And so I got out of my bed, and I just suddenly decided to play this song on the piano for the first time. After a few playings, I recorded and uploaded it as my very first piano cover in years.

During service, the message was on "Progress through Challenges", which was the last core value in the Singapore pledge. Pastor Tim shared about how his hip sprained and hurt unbearably during this service, but he chooses to fix his eyes on God instead, just as Jacob wrestled with God and did not let go. It reminded me of when my right knee felt dislocated and my knee and shins was painful before a prayer meeting. I had to limp. When I thought of Jacob and continue to pray, I ignored the pain and just seek God. At the end of the meeting, I jumped about and realized the pain and loose feeling was gone, it never came back!

The service host, Samuel also shared about his testimony on finding the ideal job. He shared that for 6 months after graduation, he could not settle in a job, he was anxious, but God brought him to an ideal job after this saga. Then we had tithing, even before the testimony, I already set out in my heart to just give $50 even though that was a big sum, out of my thanks and trust in God. During my 8 months since I ORD-ed, I haven't got a job outside, and I did not manage to find any tuition jobs for months. However, the moment service ended, I took out my phone and a tuition agency staff contacted to tell me that I got a job, and even for one with a good starting pay of $360 per month!

After service, my LG went to Botanic Gardens for picnic and sports. I was supposedly dying of tiredness, but I was fine.

Day 4 - Bidding High

Lying on my bed, I look at my phone, it was already 6am on Sunday (26/7/2015). I managed to fall asleep for 1h, but woke up and could not sleep anymore, despite already not being able to sleep the whole night before. I was prompted to go downstairs and play another piano cover on God of Justice. I put the Candor logo for mp3 as it seems to represent not just integrity but ruling justly. I then slept for another 3h.

I went to morning service with Raja(An Indian man that me and some Church friends talked to, spent time with and brought to Church). It just so happened that my family was seating at the place where me and Raja would seat when we reached. And it also happened that my aunt decided to visit my Church out of the blue. Raja was blessed to see my whole family there as he hopes his family will come too. I am blessed too, it's the first time my whole family(and even my aunt) came when I was not the one who invited or go with them.

After we sent Raja back to Geylang Bahru residence, we started to invite the residents for our Church SG50 celebration. I could only stay for a while, but I really loved the initiative. Next Sunday, a shuttle bus will come to bring us and the residents to go for the performance.

I was on my way for the SMU Bidding 101 class, organized by my Church group, SMU Hope family. Before I went for it, I continually pray over it, and over my OG, that God will continually bring more people to come for it, more than expected, more than listed. I was already stunned when the announced number of visiting freshies was 57. I was even more shocked when 8 of my OG mates turned up, 1 of them came without saying anything. I was MOST Shocked, when through the whole session, from 2 to 4pm, visitors just keep coming in, and a total of 109 freshies came and are blessed through the Bidding talk. We had many friendly facilitators who shared anything and everything about bidding, and the rooms in SMU Labs were cozy.

Picture Credited to Sofia Wang

The Grand Finale

Lying on my bed, I look at my phone, it was already.. 2pm on Monday(27/7/2015), I finally got a bit of proper rest and slept for 9h. I overslept and missed an appointment. I went to meet Pei Da to hang out and dinner. We spent so much time talking and eating that it was already 7.30pm. I was supposed to go for a Bible Study elsewhere, but as I was already in SMU. I went for the SMU Hope Family Meet with Pei Da and the rest.

When I went for the family meet, the worship was really ministering, it was faith-filled, and the spirit led me to share a Word from 1 Corinthians 2:9

However, as it is written:

“What no eye has seen,
    what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”—
    the things God has prepared for those who love him—

After sharing it, I realized that the daily bible verse on phone was the exact same verse too.

Zelanie began to share about "Amazing God - Living a Faith-filled Life". She shared that we can actually amaze God with our faith. In the Bible, there are 2 incidents when Jesus was amazed by the people. Once, Jesus was back at His hometown, but he could not do many miracles as the people doubted that He was the Son of God, seeing that He was born an "ordinary" birth when He was young. Jesus was also amazed at the Centurion, because the Centurion had such great faith that Jesus will heal his servant without going to where the servant is resting.

She then shared about 2 keys to know if we are living faith-filled lives:

The 1st is our prayer life, when we pray to God, do we simply pray prayers like "God I am going to work and I am tired, please make me not so tired and let work be okay today." Or do we pray
"God I am tired, and I don't know why I started working here. But I know that you have placed me here for a purpose, I pray that you sustain me, you let me meet the colleagues and clients you want me to interact with, that you will mold me and teach me something here, that your presence will be with me tangibly, and I pray that you will bring people to come to know you and build your Kingdom here in this workplace." Both are about work, but one simply hopes work won't be bad, the other sees in faith at the more that God has for him as he goes there.

The 2nd is if God is answering our prayers. Answering our prayers is not the same as God saying YES to all our requests. But it means that when we pray to God, He responds to us by speaking to us and moving in our lives. I've experienced God answering my prayers, even almost immediately, especially over the past 4 days of awakening.

I can feel the Holy Spirit burning in me, especially during moments such as when He speaks to me personally or when He gives me Words of Knowledge for people around me. He answered my prayer to have more energy and rest in Him on Friday night, such that even when I have such a serious insomnia, I don't really feel tired and am brimming with energy. He answered my prayer of wanting tuition jobs unknowingly(I just got 1 more student!!). He brought my whole family and my aunt to come for service. He blessed the Bidding 101 class way beyond what I prayed for. He knew my heart better than me and made me come to SMU Hope Family Meet instead of Bible Study class, to receive the plans that He had set out for me.

As I went home that night, Evangelist Daniel Koalenda, one of the few men of God I followed, JUST SO HAPPENED to post 1 Corinthians 2:9 and share it as a confirmation message again.

At this point, you may be wondering, this is plain crazy. You may be wondering, why am I not experiencing such things too? And you may be wondering why the title is called "The Psalm 23 Life".

I named it "The Psalm 23 Life" because this is the most famous Psalm in the Bible and it says:

In the short 6 verses, David put his trust in God in the Yes moments(Where God answers and provides for him), in the No moments(Where things seem bad and bleak - the dark valley), and in the Maybes(That God will anoint him, and continually pour His love and goodness). Our Church also went through this Yes, No, Maybe 3 part series a while back. And the week after, we had the IMMEASURABLE special service. For me, this crazy 2.5 weeks that I've been through was a "No, Maybe & Yes" journey. 

Even up till today on this Wednesday, God is continually blessing me, his Holy Spirit continues to burn in me. He is so amazing, such that I can only say again, that I cannot perceive and imagine the things God is preparing for me as I continue to love Him. He is going to continue doing IMMEASURABLY MORE. 

When we choose to trust that God loves us, that He provides, and He will do more in the lives of those who loves Him. When we choose to read the Bible and obey His Word. Even if we go through a Hell week, a Hell month, or a Hell year, or even face death itself. God is faithful, He will make a way out(even if not in the present physical life), and He will bless you way more than you can imagine. Let us trust in Him today

The Inner Room

Today was filled with amazement. I only slept for 4 hours during SMU orientation camp, and then slept 11h today. I woke up feeling like I had a hangover, and my body still felt weak and is still trembling (Even now), since last night.

Thankfully my mum bought me lunch just when I woke up. I ate it and decided to watch a sermon too. “The Call to The Inner Room - Banning Liescher”. It was the first time I listened to this guy. But man, he spoke with such humor, such truth and such love. As I listened, I became so in awe. He was speaking a Word that resonated so deeply with me. It was The Word that concludes the experiences I’ve been through in the past 8 months after ORD-ing. And it was also The Word for the rest of this year and the future ahead.

God is Life, we are part of this Life too. God does not simply moves through events, objects or places. No, He moves through men, for we are alive and we receive and give His love. Many are called, but few are chosen. Why? Because many did not respond. How can we respond? By going to the inner room of prayer. God watches over our lives and He loves to be found (Just as a father would want to be found by his child in Hide-and-seek). He yearns to speak to us and be with us, so we simply have to come to him personally. Ask-Seek-Knock, and the door will open unto you. I’ve started spending more time in personal prayer, and it gave me such peace of mind, love, excitement and security in being myself and in doing things that I do. Because the more I do so, the more I know God is with me, He loves me, He loves all people, and He will be with me to the very end of the age as I also love others.

It’s really cool that Prayer Meet was in the evening, so we can come to pray together just after I listened to a sermon about prayer. The prayer meet was the most ministering one ever, it was not one where we had to pray a lot for others, but we simply received God’s love personally through the time. God spoke to me a few words of knowledge that He wanted me to share with some in my LG, and our LG also prayed for each others, and those who were not around. God is such a personal God, and He will continue to move in Singapore as we continue to commune with Him in His love for us and the nation. SG50, the year of Jubilee, may you show your favor upon us just as you do to the Israelites, whenever they turn to you in earnest prayer.

To You, LORD, I Cry

I was broke. I had 30 cents left earlier last week, but I gave it away. There was so little in my ATM that I do not know if I can even draw $10. Last Wednesday night, as I was praying to God for financial providence and guidance in work (in CPA Internet biz, my mum’s Star Ark biz, finding tuition jobs etc). I felt prompted to go a step further to ask God for providence for tomorrow, and even for a sum of cash (for $200). In my mind I was thinking that it may come from CPA somehow by next morning (cuz though I’m not spending much on it at the moment, I’m not really getting revenue from it either).

The next morning, I was doing my devotions from Charles Spurgeon, and he talks about the Psalmist who doesn’t just present his request or be contented with the calming of mind and subduing of will from prayer. The psalmist cried out to God to not turn a deaf ear, or he’ll be like those going down the pit. It reminded me that yesterday I was prompted to take my prayer further by asking God for some providence the next day, and I had in mind $200.

I checked my CPA and got $0, which is the norm. However I remembered that before leaving house, my dad gave me some money for my expenses recorded in my expenses log. My expenses (piano tuition fee, passport renewal etc) were at least a few hundreds and I didn’t know when my dad will give me money for my expenses. My dad gave me today and only gave some of it first. But it is already enough for now as I already had no money then, and needed daily bread. Then on the train as I read this devotion, it reminded me of praying earnestly and interceding till God moves, and how I decided to pray for a sum of $200 today. And it was exactly $200 that I got from my dad today!

This is kind of freaky, and yes I still need further providence in my family in the days ahead and further guidance for my work and my mum’s biz. But I’m encouraged to continue to commit and pray about these to God daily, and even be bold to ask further or anoint my family or the work we do etc in faith, and also continue to pray for places, things and people as God prompts me. He really is above all things, in all things and He hears us personally as we commit things to Him and even anoint them in His name.

He is a Good, Good Father. Are there things you want to do for God, but you feel weary? Are you burdened by a concern, lacking in a providence, worried about a future, caring for a person? ASK(Ask, Seek & Knock) says Jesus. Which Father, if their child asks for bread, will give a stone? How much more will our Heavenly Father hears us and give us good gifts, including the Holy Spirit? So let us commit our cares, needs, dreams, concerns to God daily

One Conference

It’s really exciting that me and my brother started seeing more on how God is the One above all, and yet everything points to the One. And when we started discussing it a few days before Conference, it was then that my brother realized that the Conference he is going with us is called “One Conference”. It is also amazing that by God’s grace, during the first day of Conference, my dad decided to join us and my whole family went to Conference as one family.

I really received a lot during the Conference, even while serving. The 2 main overarching things is that God is the One in all things, and that means he does not just redeems us personally, neither just inter-personally, but he is here to redeem the world and the marketplace too. The other main thing is that because he is the One, we need to continue to acknowledge Him and develop a deeper intimacy and surrender unto Him, so that we can receive His streams of living waters that will overflow unto others. As I reflected on them, God gave me a picture of a Cross today. The vertical is to love God, the horizontal is to love people. The vertical line and the horizontal line comes together as a Cross. As we do both of them, we are carrying our cross, and drawing people to Christ.

I remember that during the Day 2 morning session, I did not expect to receive much. I woke up really early without much rest, I was serving, the worship was long, and I knew that Ed Silvoso will be sharing about transforming the Marketplace again. However, when Ed Silvoso started sharing, and shared about how we are anointed as God’s priests, and how we are ministers at wherever we’re placed, and the parallels in the gospel of Luke. My spirit started to stir violently and I was like “Yes!! God is in all things, and we are His chosen priesthood to minister through Him. And He has given us the keys to his Kingdom as we minister on Earth”. When it was time to respond during altar call, I started to cry really badly and I couldn’t stop, and I was supposed to be the usher that gave tissues to people who were crying. But I just felt overwhelmed by how amazing God is, and so blessed by His grace and His finished work, that we can live our lives with Him in all that we do.

It was also amazing that after Conference, I read my devotions from Charles Spurgeon’s Morning & Evening, and saw that the devotions on the 27th (Day 1 of Conference) was sharing exactly about what was shared during Conference by Ed Silvoso and Ron Luce. These are the devotions:

 This speaks of what Ron shared about not conforming, dreaming with God and following Him

The very next devotion speaks of being at where we are (marketplace, home, school) and exalting God there as Ed Silvoso shared

There were many other things that I’ve received during the Conference, and I couldn’t help but cried again during session 6, as I watched the video of teens giving their lives to follow Jesus, as that is my heart’s cry too. Some of the application points that I’m putting to practice are these. I do not want to look in the mirror and walk away, I don’t want to go back to the “pull” of the ordinary.

1. Knowing that I’m a priest to minister at wherever I’m placed, let me do them as unto God, by praying over them, over the place and the people.

2. Pray over at least 3 things/ppl daily.

3. Remember not to condemn ppl for sins, but always seek to fellowship & bless, and bring the life of Christ to both believers & non-believers alike.

4. (Temporary app? It’s the principle behind) Continue fasting from games, and continue wearing “One God, One Life” wristband as reminder.

5. Not just pray throughout the day, but have at least 5 minutes of alone praying time with God that is aside from journalling, that I may draw close to Christ, to abba Father and to the Holy Spirit.

6. To seek to fellowship with at least one friend or family member who is far from God every week.

7. To seek to talk to or bless a stranger friend every week

8. Take initiatives or actions to help my mum in her work, to love my family, and to respond to my leaders. To not be rude & disrespecting to my parents, but seek to always respect & honor them.

One God, One Life. Let us live for the audience of One

Loving Neighbors

I had these 2 encounters I had today

One was with a tissue seller. The guy was on the wheelchair and looks like he has down syndrome. Before I saw him I was praying and listening to worship, and then I felt my hands tingling and wanted to pray for something. Then I saw him and wanted to take out money, I realized I only have $1.50 of coins and like that’s all the money I have. So I gave it to him in his hands, and quickly prayed for him to be blessed while I put it in his hands and hold it. I was also rushing for piano class and maybe not courageous enough, so I didn’t pray longer for healing. But I sincerely blessed him and wanted him to be ministered, even though I’m not sure how exactly. After piano, I didn’t see him at the MRT area anymore.

The 2nd was on my way home after supper, I saw a lady on the floor with an injury. And many ppl crowded around her and are helping, then I just walked pass. I thought to myself, so if I cannot/don’t need to heal the person, will I go to them to help them? Just like those who crowded around and helped the lady. If I won’t, perhaps I am not loving the person enough and can love ppl more as Christ does

May I learn to love my neighbors more, including my physical neighbors who I don’t talk much with, as Christ does and mentioned in the Parable of the Good Samaritan

Family Testimony

In the past, even before I came Hope and know God personally, my family was broken and strained, my parents barely talked, argued and were closed to divorce. We also go to Church together once in a while.

After I came to know God towards end 2008 in Hope, there seem to be improvement, but my parents still barely talked and argued when they did. We no longer go to Church together as I’m in Hope and at then my brother go to Heart of God Church.

Later on, 2 weeks before my first Church conference, while I was in JC, I had a dream. In the dream I was in a Church with pews, I was standing with my mum and my dad at my left and right and we were having worship. Then a white blanket that appears small appeared over me. Then it descended and became bigger and bigger and covered like a huge blanket over me. Then I woke up and I was already crying badly.

Then during Conference morning, my mum happened to be free to send me to stadium in the morning. Then she suddenly decided to walk-in register for Conference. During opening ceremony and praise, though it was just a video and we sang “God Is With Us” praise song, I suddenly began crying badly and I couldn’t just stop, like how I cried badly from my dream. On Sunday during the evangelical service, my dad also decided to come, so me, my mum and dad were there together and worship like in the dream. Then throughout the Conference, the worship leaders, leaders, ministers etc keep praying for the Holy Spirit. And it reminded me of the white blanket that represents the Holy Spirit.

After the Conference, my family don’t often go to Church and didn’t come to Hope together. However when I was in NS and after I ORD, my parents started joining me more. And my mum is connected to Hope now and my dad also comes sometimes. My brother went to study in London 2 years ago, but he just came back for holidays and MOE intern/bond.

My dad often works even on Sundays, and he only joins sometimes. He also has to carry more financial responsibility for my mums business, me and my brother expenditures like for Uni. When I invited him for Conference a few weeks ago he says he won’t be free, when I asked why my dad got angry because he feels I don’t see how busy he is. However later on I continued to ask and pray for him, but he won’t give an answer.

Last night before I sleep, I prayed with my hand over him while he was sleeping, and I just had an assurance that the HS will move. Just before I woke up this morning I had a dream that my mum woke me up saying that my dad is coming, I said I prayed for him and she said she did too. When I really did wake up, it was 7.20+ and I saw that my dad posted in the family WhatsApp at 7.10+ that he is coming and he is buying breakfast for us.

Today, me, my brother and my mum and dad are coming to One Conference as one family! And I’m really happy that we can come to seek God together. Even though there was a small argument from miscomm and road directions this morning, I’m glad that we can come to seek God as one. And though we have concerns like finances, I’m just happy that we seek God together and believe that he’ll be the one that provides and guides us.

I hope this encourages you, that God can draw our families to him as we continue to look to God to pray for them, love them and reach out to them. God bless :)

I-say-ah Joke

Today I went to meet Vincent at Bugis, after alighting from the train and exiting the gantry, I realized that I was at Lavender. I tapped back in and was about to board the train again, but I realized that station name is already Bugis.. Then I realized that I was already at Bugis, but I thought it was Lavender because the station looks a bit like Lavender MRT.

After the Itacho Sushi birthday treat by Vincent, we walked around and initially planned to go to Dhoby, but we walked around Bugis street instead. I told Vincent about the food center I often go to after piano classes in Bugis. Then Vincent asked me, “don’t you have piano lessons on Monday?” My piano lessons were on Fridays, then they were changed to Thursdays. But just last Friday, my lessons were shifted to Mondays at 6.15pm. When Vincent asked me about my piano, I finally remembered It Is On Monday. It was already 5.40pm then. By God’s grace, me and Vincent met earlier at late afternoon instead of evening. By God’s grace, we ate at Bugis instead of Tampines. By God’s grace, we did not go to Dhoby but stayed at Bugis. By God’s grace, I remembered about the food center I frequent because we were at Bugis street. By God’s grace, Vincent asked me about my usual lesson timing

Log Horizon 2 Episode 10

Man… I cried really really hard. I didn’t expect myself to cry in this show.

This show is about how gamers of ElderTale are suddenly stuck and have to live in the game all of a sudden. Even though the show is about being stuck in a game world, it does not focus on action, but it deals a lot with relationship issues, concerns that are real in the world today, and questions people always ask in their life. In the episode the guys just went through an insurmountable quest and were defeated. They were really discouraged and thought about just living normal peaceful lives in this alternative world.

However, Williams in the show gave a powerful speech through the episode that made me really thought back to my past. It made me remember about how I was addicted to online games, being the guild master and having many friends there, it made me remember about how I felt outcast-ed and disengaged with life. And it also made me remember how I still felt hurt/misunderstood even as I knew Jesus and started living my life even more fully.

What William shared was that the game taught him so many things, to find a family there, to really work together and understand people, to have a common goal together, and in the past that was the way it was for me. Now, I’m finding my family, my goal, my struggles and passions and all together in this family-in-Christ. William shared that if they gave up on the quests and start to live their own normal lives in this game world that they are stuck in, what is left for them? Even though they don’t know if they can win, it is better to continue to chase after their passion, to continue to run the race together as a family, than to give it all up.

We have a much greater hope, that in Christ, even if we may face great persecutions, we may have much troubles, we may not see the fruits we expect, we may face loses, but our hope in salvation is firm, His love is true, we are One family and we seek the One, and His Kingdom will come.

I watched while I was eating my Mee goreng, I started to feel touched halfway but still kept eating, until it came to a point that tears started welling up while I was chewing. Then I started crying like a baby. But I’m just so thankful to God that whatever the circumstances it is now, whatever hurts it is now, whatever things we have now, all these do not matter as much as knowing that I am loved in His family, loving Him and this family, and seeking Him, His Kingdom and His Righteousness first always.

Even if you never watched the show before, you can check out the speech in this episode as it does not really spoil or kill the enjoyment of watching the show if you decide to pick it up.

Guitarrrr, Worship & Me

God is so good and so personal. During the few days up to the time I posted D+S, that struggle has been something I’ve been reflecting about, from the time during mission trip until I posted it.

However, during the mission trip, as Ernest played the guitar there, I was just drawn to it. I would sing and harmonize with him, and also ask him to show me some of the basic guitar chords so that I could try to play the guitar. One of my teammates genuinely felt that my singing voice was really nice, and I was taken aback by the compliment.

I love to worship God, to sing unto Him daily, to even express it through a little dancing at times or through the piano. During this mission trip, a yearning to play the guitar in worship to God started to grow.

When I came back to Singapore on Tuesday night, I found out that there was a Worship seminar on Thursday. I went for it and was so ministered by Dan McCollam’s message. He shared about how God delights in each different beautiful sound that each individual has in worship unto Him. He also shared about how each person has a special grace, be it a grace of being pastoral, or a prophetic grace etc, and that’s just part of how God created him/her to be. That really spoke to me regarding my struggle, as it made me see that yes I can be misunderstood and all, but God delights in my own unique and beautiful sound unto Him. He has given me special grace and calling in my life, be it in worship, be it in ministering in Japan in the future etc, and I am fearfully and wonderfully made in Him. Jeanette, my LGL, also asked if my spiritual pathway was worship, and yes it is, it reminds me of how I delight in worship unto God. I don’t remember the first message I heard when I came to Hope, but I remembered how tangible God’s love felt during the worship, that I chose to say the sinners’ prayer and receive Jesus into my life.

Then, Shing Chun told me about the SMU ministry guitar workshop on Friday. Terence was conducting it, and it happened to be the very first out of three sessions that Friday. I knew about it just in time, and I was thrilled to learn the guitar more. I was so happy as I started playing and singing Forever by Kari Jobe, really noob-ishly after the session. Then it just so happened that on Saturday, Alphonso from NS ministry decided to hold a guitar lesson for anybody who’s interested too. I went and continued to practice, to hone the basics more, like to slowly learn to press chords and strum better.

I’m so excited to pick up the guitar as God opens this door to it. And I can soon worship God accompanying with it. I just thank God so much, for showing me that he leads me to be who I am, and he has given me my own special grace, my own spiritual pathway, my own special calling, my own talents, and that these are all things I can delight in. Even if I am different, these things that God gave me and wired me to be are wonderful as it is.

I just watched Pitch Perfect 1 and even the movie spoke to me. I find myself to be able to relate a lot to Beca, the main heroine. (SPOILER) Beca has a real cool interest in DJ-ing, mixing music and creating songs, however some people like her father do not appreciate this gifting of hers. She also joined the Barden Bellas. She felt things could be done differently and better, so she suggested, and even spontaneously add an original mix to the song the team was singing during the competition in an attempt to help. The leader did not see eye-to-eye with her and disagreed with her opinions, to the point where Beca almost had to leave the Bellas. In the end, Beca acknowledged that it was too much for her to suddenly sang her own way during the competition without telling her teammates. The leader forgives her and took in her view, and the Barden Bellas started singing differently, but ever better than before after Beca’s input.

While I’m not saying that I am very gifted or have better opinions like Beca, I relate to her because she had interests that are different from others and sometimes others don’t appreciate it. She has a valid and good opinion in her team, but sometimes people just don’t understand or accept it. There are people who care for and love her, but she pushed them away because she felt they don’t really understand her. I relate to her in all of these. However, thanks be to God, that I’m beautiful just the way I am to Him, just as how every son and daughter is to Him. I also need to value others more, and not just think about how I can help or be understood. And lastly, I should not distant myself from people who love/care for me, even if they may not fully understand, for love makes a way and God loves us even before we knew Him.

I also want to thank Nicole for praying for me after the Uni service too. It was her first time praying for someone as God drops a vision for the person to her. She shared that she saw a flower in a field, the flower blossomed and continued to blossom into a very very beautiful flower. And told me that even if I may feel different/misunderstood, God wants to assure me that I’m just as that flower is. It really ministered to me, and I’m so glad to be running this race with this sister :)

I also want to thank the people who celebrated my birthday last week too :) My mission team for celebrating just at 12am of my birthday, even singing a Joel edition of Noel for me and affirming me. My SALG family, for coming all the way down to the airport even from 3.30pm, preparing a funny surprise for me. My parents and aunt who fetch me from the airport, and accommodated to eat my fav Jap cuisine with me. My SMU LG who celebrated for me during our very first LG together. And after Uni service, I was really surprised when the ORD LG guys stayed back just to celebrate for me. They were all in different Uni ministries and had to rush off to join their LGs thereafter. But they came together to sing for me, to give me a life-changing muffin, a personal card and a very unique gift. I’m so happy to have these brothers in this family in Christ. We will have a meet up real soon k :)